The Crap We Missed – Friday 2.3.12
2012-02-03
Awesome. Now I can’t stop trying to remember the warthog’s name from The Lion King. Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed where we see that Whitney Houston‘s back at the top of her game, Russell Brands‘s nipples will feed...
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Bruce Willis Told Demi Moore To Go To Rehab, She Chose Penis Cake And Whip-Its
2012-02-03
Shortly before Demi Moore somehow found herself in the hospital after sucking back whip-its and K2 Spice on a stomach full of nothing but Red Bulls, Bruce Willis reportedly urged her to go to rehab. So just assume that conversation involved both of the...
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Snooki Peed All Over The Floor Of A Club (Subtitle: Now I Want To Knock Her Up)
2012-02-03
After finding out that no less than four dudes might’ve put a baby in Snooki, apparently last night’s episode of Jersey Shore features a scene (after the jump) where America’s favorite Ewok Slam Pig just literally starts peeing all ov...
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Jamie Lynn Spears Thinks 'Teen Mom' is Brave
2012-02-03
The last time we saw Jamie Lynn Spears on the site it was 2009, and you’ll be surprised to learn she was not murdered by Britney in a freak Whopper accident as I’ve assumed since then. Turns out she’s been quietly raising her daughter...
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Rihanna Stole Reese Witherspoon's Hair and Other News
2012-02-03
Posted by Photo Boy - Last time I checked Tinkerbell didn’t have huge fake tits. And oh, how I’ve checked. - Dr. Phil thinks men care what he has to say now. Ha, that guy! - Here’s who’s all up in Scarlett Johansson these days. ...
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Madonna On Lady GaGa: 'She's No Britney Spears'
2012-02-03
“I guess if GaGa were to have kids, I’d probably devour them or convert them to a life of serving my dark arts, but can we talk about me now? I’m kind of great.” Apparently Madonna‘s giving 800 interviews these days –...
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Vanessa Hudgens' Breasts Are Still Marketing 'Journey 2′
2012-02-03
In case her week-long bikini tour through Hawaii wasn’t enough, here’s Vanessa Hudgens breasts leaving a dance studio yesterday before walking the red carpet at the LA premiere of Journey 2. And you almost have to respect the simplicity of ...
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Lindsay Lohan Wants To Sue Anyone Who Says She Acts Like Lindsay Lohan
2012-02-02
Yesterday, RadarOnline reported the following about Lindsay Lohan most likely crashing Harvey Weinstein’s SAG awards after-party. (Quick Note: She’s permanently living at the Marmont now, so just assume she’s using an intricate system...
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The Crap We Missed – Thursday 2.2.12
2012-02-02
Note: When not properly rotated, Kim Kardashian‘s ass cheeks can become flat and experience loss of tread. Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed which is almost entirely female with the exception of Jake Gyllenhaal (Debatable, I know.), ...
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BREAKING: Brad Pitt Gives His Kids Soda. Gasp!
2012-02-02
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have 27 kids, so short of running into their rooms firing shotguns into the air to wake them up – Which, by the way, I’m entirely cool with. – I don’t really see the need for a big kerfuffle over any...
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Gisele Bundchen: 'Please Pray For Tom Brady'
2012-02-02
Considering the last time the Patriots faced the Giants in the Super Bowl her husband went home crying without even touching his waterslide, Gisele Bundchen has found herself turning to the very same deity Tom Brady proved doesn’t exist when his ...
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Madonna: 'You Tithe To Me Now'
2012-02-02
While I personally believe it’s the ability to assume the body of a griffin and rain fire upon her enemies, it’s often been said that Madonna‘s greatest strength is her ego. And after reading her latest interview with Newsweek, I̵...
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I'm Pretty Sure Amanda Seyfried Just Called Justin Timberlake Gay
2012-02-02
In the March issue of Glamour, Amanda Seyfried sets the record straight that she did NOT bang Justin Timberlake and then takes it one step further by basically outing him which is the only way to read this: Oh, I think any female that meets him at firs...
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Snooki's Baby's Food Would've Come From Here
2012-02-02
And apparently parking on them’s tight on Sundays. Makes sense. While the world sat in horror from the prospect that Snooki might have procreated – Or more accurately, consciously decided to see one of her pregnancies through. – she w...
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Karina Smirnoff in a Bikini and Other News
2012-02-02
Posted by Photo Boy - Cleavagey Redheads. Must be Thursday. - Jean Dujardin just earned his U.S. citizenship in my eyes. - Of course Courtney Love believes smoking crack made her great at math. - Looks like nobody will commit to Taylor Swift. - Miranda...
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Gwyneth Paltrow Said Words Again
2012-02-01
Harry Potter‘s not gonna like that second pose. Gwyneth Paltrow graces the cover of Harper’s Bazaar where she opens about how she’s basically Betty Draper from Mad Men, and not sure if you knew this, but she’s best friends with ...
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Demi Moore Tried To Bang Zac Efron
2012-02-01
More details continue to fly into our nostrils out of the whipped cream can that is Demi Moore‘s life. This time around, we learn she’s been actively pursuing Zac Efron in a desperate attempt to see if his penis will reverse the effects of ...
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At Least Four Dudes Could've Been The Father of Snooki's Baby
2012-02-01
Even though we now know Snooki isn’t pregnant and can stop bracing for the apocalypse, I felt it was important to point out that at least four different dudes could’ve potentially been the father, so just call me Captain Obvious. Hollywood ...
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The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 2.1.12
2012-02-01
Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed coming at you early because this news day is slower than Jonah Hill‘s metabolism. Anyway, Michael Fassbender delivers a mixed message, saying either “Fuck you” or “Goddamn, h...
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Harry Potter Says '70s Bush or GTFO'
2012-02-01
“I choose PUBENDOR!!!!” While you and your children were enjoying the magical wizardry and adventure of the Harry Potter movies, Daniel Radcliffe was thinking the whole time about how much he loves having tons of pubes and then pressing sai...
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Courteney Cox's Cleavage and Other News
2012-02-01
Posted by Photo Boy - This isn’t as cool as an old lady with sweet jugs, but it’s close. - Joan Rivers getting high is what reality TV is all about. - The Vanity Fair Hollywood Issue forgot to include Hollywood stars. - Channing Tatum wore ...
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Friends Fear for Demi Moore
2012-02-01
According to a new report from Us Weekly, Demi Moore's friends are really worried about her. They all thought she was going to die when she was rushed to hospital on January 16....
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Gwyneth Paltrow Is Against Plastic Surgery
2012-02-01
According to Harper's Bazaar March edition, screen beauty Gwyneth Paltrow confessed she is totally against plastic surgery and she actually likes to grow old gracefully....
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Snooki's Pregnant
2012-02-01
Originally this was supposed to be a post about Snooki and JWoww‘s Jersey Shore spinoff being told to eat a dick by the city of Hoboken, but it turns out someone actually figured out how to impregnate an Ewok and/or distract one from the abortion...
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Snoop Dogg Endorses Ron Paul
2012-01-31
Ron Paul might want to peel back the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and basically turn the United States into a boner-inducing fiefdom for rich, gun-toting white property owners, but he also wants to legalize weed so, really, how hard can that other shit make i...
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Reese Witherspoon Responds To Justin Bieber's 'Fear' Remake In The Only Way Possible
2012-01-31
I make a lot of jokes about Reese Witherspoon – Mostly about her chin and that time she kept showing everyone how huge her labia are. – but at the end of the day, she’s really a lot like us. And by that I mean she heard Justin Bieber ...
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Here's Steve-O & Elisabetta Canalis Sucking Face
2012-01-31
When George Clooney dumped Elisabetta Canalis, it was pretty much assumed it’s because she brought up marriage and commitment gives George Clooney cancer. Turns out she’s a gaping famewhore which explains why you’re looking at Elisabe...
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Miley Cyrus Broke Her Tailbone 'Doing Flips'
2012-01-31
Late last week, we saw photos of a drunken Miley Cyrus mouth sexing a giant black penis cake, so it really should come as no surprise that she tweeted this last night: cracked my tail bone doing a front flip… on to the couch. thats like when i tr...
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The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 1.31.12
2012-01-31
Kardashian Kollection Denim: Because A Sextape Will Give Your Father Cancer Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed where we get to see how Vanessa Hudgens reacts to her entourage telling her that she already exhausted Mexico City’s entire ...
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Bar Refaeli Does Italian TV and Other News
2012-01-31
Posted by Photo Boy - Thigh-High Socks that if you’re looking at, you’re missing the show. - Chronicle is this generation’s The Blair Witch Project. - Fran Drescher represented our species to aliens. Oh, good. - Rooney Mara stole Blak...
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Kirsten Dunst Is Getting Married
2012-01-31
According to reports, Kirsten Dunst is preparing to walk down the aisle in the near future. It seems although she and her boyfriend, actor Garret Hedlund, have been dating only for a couple of months, they are smitten with each other and feel ready to tie...
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Steve Jones and Paula Abdul to Leave X Factor
2012-01-31
First this week, there was Steve Jones announcing he's leaving American X Factor. Now, we add Paula Abdul to the list....
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Kim Kardashian Wants To Start A Bible Study Now
2012-01-31
Shortly before tweeting photos of her giant breasts in a bikini (above), Kim Kardashian apparently decided to do her own PR this time and trick everyone into believing she’s really a deeply religious person with strong moral convictions so obviou...
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Rumer Willis Is Already Partying Again
2012-01-31
Rumer Willis just watched Demi Moore get taken away in an ambulance after going on a whip-it and K2 Spice bender because she’s too beautiful to buy real drugs, I have no fucking clue, so of course Rumer was already out hitting SAG parties by the ...
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Jennifer Lopez Swimsuit Photos, Anyone?
2012-01-30
Here’s Jennifer Lopez on a photo shoot in Miami on Friday where she also brought along Casper Smart because who the hell else is going to drive her to the Piggly Wiggly? More importantly, she actually looks pretty damn good in the shots taken thr...
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Supposedly Ashlee Simpson Looks 'Great' Here
2012-01-30
This may come as a shock to you, but I’m not a maven of high fashion society, so I really have no clue why everyone was raving about how “amazing” Ashlee Simpson looked at the SAG Awards last night. Maybe because she’s not stand...
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The Crap We Missed – Monday 1.30.12
2012-01-30
In Celine Dion‘s defense, she could be menstruating. Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed featuringRead More ... ...
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LeAnn Rimes Eats Wieners
2012-01-30
Have I mentioned I’m 11? It’s been 25 days since we last saw LeAnn Rimes eating, or at least looking like she’s eating, so just assume that’s the last time it happened. Anyway, here she is giving this consumption thing another t...
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Brandi Glanville's Calling Gerard Butler A Liar Now
2012-01-30
Last week, Brandi Glanville decided to go on television and announce she banged Gerard Butler who, like any Scotsmen worth his weight in golf, either denied the whole thing or made it clear he has no idea what his penis does in its spare time, dependin...
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Kim Kardashian Banged Lil' Bow Wow
2012-01-30
In an interview with 105.1 in New York, Bow Wow basically admits to hooking up with Kim Kardashian two years ago so it’s anybody’s guess whether that was before, after or during the time she was banging Kanye West, Gabriel Aubry, Miles Aust...
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Madonna Doesn't Stand Lady GaGa
2012-01-30
According to a juicy new report, it is obviously clear that Madonna is really pissed off with fellow diva singer Lady GaGa so much as she doesn't even want to be in the same room with her!...
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Christina Aguilera Sings Until Somebody Menstruates. Mostly Her.
2012-01-30
“A whooa-oooaa-whoooaaa why don’t you ever have an opinion about curtains, you assho-ooh-whoo-ole!” Christina Aguilera performed at Etta James’ memorial service Saturday night and honored the late singer in the classiest way pos...
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Jessie J Is Full of Generosity
2012-01-30
According to reports, British singer Jessie J is no diva. The star actually enjoys being generous and she revealed she likes to give to charities and less fortunate people the extra clothes she receives....
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Candice Swanepoel in a Bikini and Other News
2012-01-30
Posted by Photo Boy - Girls With Future Lower Back Problems need some support. (Breast Puns!) - Sean Penn is confusing Haiti with Scarlett Johansson‘s vagina again. - Nick Carter is 32, but his face looks more lik–AHH! - The curious case of...
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Demi Moore Was Smoking K2 Spice With Rumer
2012-01-30
As Demi Moore‘s Fuck You, Ashton Kutcher Drug Binge and Nitrous Extravaganza continues to unfold, we now know that Rumer was there the whole time, and that the two were most likely smoking something called K2 Spice and not salvia because apparent...
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The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 2.7
2012-01-28
Quick, what’s Kashyyyk for “papa?” Welcome to another installment of The Most Important People on The Internet covering this week’s random shit-spray of topics: From Liam Neeson breaking every single infidel’s face with hi...
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Demi Moore Was Smoking 'Something' Now
2012-01-27
If you heard about Demi Moore doing whip-its and went, “Ha! Are we going to find out she was doing salvia next?” We’re finding out she was probably doing salvia next. People reports: Demi Moore was having convulsions and “burnin...
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Tila Tequila Really Wants You To See Her Implants
2012-01-27
“Shalom,” they say. I’m going to be honest with you: I hate Tila Tequila, but at the same time, I love giant breasts including ones that still have that new dead inside smell. So here’s Tila rollerblading around Malibu this morn...
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The Crap We Missed – 1.27.12
2012-01-27
“Appears to be sewn-in… Uh, clean-up, aisle frog.” Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Nick Nolte not giving a fuck so hard other people’s fucks are disintegrating before they themselves can be given, Vanessa ...
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Gerard Butler Has No Idea Who Brandi Glanville Is
2012-01-27
Earlier in the week, Brandi Glanville openly admitted to banging Gerard Butler because she’s on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and therefore by definition a gaping wang depository for wealthy men. And possibly even a lying wang despository at t...
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