I’m trying to avoid the 800 reports coming out of the Lindsay Lohan stealing a necklace fiasco because it’s dovetailed into the usual avalanche of bullshit. That said, I found this one worth noting because it reinforces just ...

   The custody battle between Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry is showing no signs of cooling down. Halle’s camp continues to run with their brilliant plan of making Gabriel look like a racist despite, oh I dunno, romantically dating a b...

   Seen here in the new Mango campaign, Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds apparently had an “emotional” dinner over the weekend which sounds unusual for two people who just dissolved a legally-binding union predicated on a li...

   Because fake breasts are somehow all the rage these days, here’s Audrina Patridge in the new campaign for “Bongo,” who apparently have a massive sense of humor. Although I can’t help but feel this would have been ...

   - Jamie Foxx is Ricky Gervais now. - Gwyneth Paltrow will perform with Cee-Lo at the Grammy Awards, then take a dump on the American flag for daring to harbor Cup-O-Soup. - Mariah Carey is letting cameras into her house again. Is there e...

   Because there’s not enough strife and cause for alarm in the world these days, the stars of Jersey Shore and Teen Mom were allowed to have a “girls’ night out” in New York City yesterday, effectively forming a thr...

   Because every Leighton Meester post deserves Minka Kelly making her look like ass on a hot tin roof, here she is at airport security yesterday looking just as awesome, if not more actually, than her spread in GQ. On that note, this is ex...

   “And yet still as beautiful as a baby’s ass dipped in silver. *kisses fingers* C’est magnifique!” According to CNN’s Steve Bursk’s Twitter – Welcome to the state of journalism, says the man blogg...

   Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry have gone from a seemingly amicable break-up to a goddamn bare-knuckle brawl this week after the two reached a heated point in arranging visitation with their daughter Nahla and immediately lawyered up. They...

Inception star Joseph Gordon-Levitt is reportedly in talks to join the cast of The Dark Knight Rises. According to Deadline, the actor will take on a lead role in the flick, which is being helmed by Inception director Christopher Nolan....

   Presumably to remind us that sending her to rehab instead of jail was a complete crock of shit, Lindsay Lohan stole a $2,500 necklace only to have an assistant turn it into the police right before they got to her house with a search warr...

   Also, meet Shyla Jennings, the final piece in Charlie Sheen’s whore puzzle. Whee! Despite all the very serious talk about getting Charlie Sheen the help he needs, Warner Bros. has apparently changed their tune on the Two and a Half...

   Because apparently the job requires both a massive fake life and tits, here’s Jersey Shore’s JWoww shilling for Ab Cuts at a New Jersey GNC yesterday which suddenly reminds me of my childhood in eastern Pennsylvania and so I ...

   Porn star Kacey Jordan has been cashing in as fast as she can since being the first to identify herself as 1/4th of Charlie Sheen’s quadruple hooker bonanza. She’s literally taking any interview on the table which is why I...

 While earlier reports suggested Charlie Sheen would be spending three months in rehab, surprise! It turns out he never even left his house in the first place and has absolutely no intention to. RadarOnline reports: Charlie was supposed to go to a re...

   Whoops. While Kim Kardashian spent most of yesterday pretending to be appalled by her “full-on nipple” that somehow magically appeared in W Magazine – Side Note: They’ve since inexplicably defended the shoot by ca...

   With Two and a Half Men officially on hiatus, poor Jon Cryer has nothing to do now but run around jogging with a face full of pure murder. Which is kind of stupid considering he works on a show that hands Charlie Sheen $2 million an epis...

   ♫ Hey, hey, wait a minute, Mr. Postman… ♫ — Wait. Oh, God. - Christina Applegate had a baby. - Joaquin Phoenix didn’t retire after all. What are the odds? - Brad Pitt might have explosives in his boxers. - Tom Hardy is that...

According to reports, actor Johnny Depp would love to play Elvis Presley on the big screen!! The Pirates of The Caribbean star is said to be considering the lead role in a new Elvis biopic which would focus on the events leading up to his death....

   Call me old-fashioned, but I’m pretty sure you’re never supposed to carry a child by the butthole. I understand Pete Wentz has a coffee in one hand, but is gripping Bronx Mowgli by the ass-cheek really the best way to transpo...

   Here’s Kelly Ripa out in New York City yesterday where she proved to this writer that she’s more than just a penis button: She’s also a burn victim with a cleft palate. How she finds the time to do it between three kids...

Moody actress Kristen Stewart, who shot to fame in the Twilight movie franchise, is reportedly in talks to star as Lois Lane in the new Superman movie....

   Halle Berry has apparently dropped out of a movie for the sole purpose of whooping Gabriel Aubry’s ass in court over custody of their daughter, according to People: “Halle has serious concerns for her daughter’s well-be...

   Presumably this is God’s way of making up for me having to stare at the various hatchet wounds – an overgenerous if not entirely misleading term – of Charlie Sheen’s porn star/hookers, because here are new outtake...

   Here’s Olivia Munn shopping in SoHo over the weekend and I’m not going to sugar coat it, you can see right through her shirt. I know this isn’t the kind of site for that sort of thing, but I felt it was important I brou...

   While arriving at Sao Paolo Fashion Week in Brazil, Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore were booed after being typical Hollywood assholes and holding up the show for three hours, according to ITN. What’s amazing is how they’re stil...

   - Kim Kardashian hates her “exploitative” nude W shoot now. - Which is why she wants the role of the ultimate sex object, a Bond girl. - Paz de la Huerta puts her best face forward. - Justin Timberlake is Lindsay Lohan now. -...

   While Charlie Sheen gets his usual treatment from the LAPD, Gigi Rivera has been revealed as the third porn star at his house during last week’s 36-hour bender, and there’s a disturbing and undeniable trend forming here. Name...

   After finding out she snubbed a potential Oscar winner and not a lowly peasant – In her defense Hailee Steinfeld was literally dressed like one. – Glee’s Lea Michele has been on constant damage control considering she a...

   Here’s Natalie Portman at the 17th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards last night looking ridiculously good for a woman who could drop a kid on the red carpet at any second. Granted, I don’t think she’s that far along, bu...

   Mila Kunis was also at last night’s SAG Awards looking, well, like Mila Kunis. Which is pretty much the greatest compliment I can give a women outside of pointing at my groin and yelling, “Boner, BONER!” and the exceedi...

   Despite the fact Charlie Sheen has unleashed a maelstrom of porn stars eager to tell us how much he loves coke and sex dungeons, the Screen Actors Guild still decided to hold an awards show yesterday, clearly just to piss me off. I mean,...

According to People magazine, actress Christina Applegate gave birth to a beautiful baby girl on January 27. It is her first child with her musician fiancé Martyn LeNoble. They have named the baby Sadie Grace....

   Kacey Jordan has wasted absolutely zero time cashing in on her new fame as one of five – Or four depending on new accounts. – porn stars who serviced Charlie Sheen during his 36-hour coke bender that put him in the hospital l...

   Welcome to The Most Important People on The Internet volume that officially makes these bad boys a veritable dozen in an egg crate of WTF. — I have no idea what I just said. At any rate, what this week’s collection lacks in q...

 “Addiction? Is that even a word?” For those of you who haven’t heard by now, Charlie Sheen managed to check himself into rehab sometime between me publishing the “Porn Family” post and transitioning to Miller Time which...

   Nope. No one thinking about rape here. Jeremy Piven recently gushed to E! News about how great it is to work with Miley Cyrus, yet somehow nobody besides me has jumped to the obvious, if not the only possible conclusion that he banged he...

   “As long as she got them six diff’rent kinds of cheeses…” Tracy Morgan appeared on TNT’s Inside the NBA last night where Charles Barkley thought it’d be a great idea to ask him what he thought about Sa...

   (Apparently someone just found out bars don’t serve heroin.) - Did Ryan Murphy accuse the NFL of gay-bashing, too? - Kate Walsh : Bristol Palin :: Luke Skywalker : Death Star. (That’s possibly to scale.) - Howard Stern took C...

 The turkey’s his penis. Some people might say Charlie Sheen is a violent drug addict who treats woman as objects to be bought and discarded like so many briefcases of cocaine. But beneath all that lies a family man with hopes and dreams of set...

   While Denise Richards is becoming rightfully concerned about the father of her children and is pleading for him to get help, Charlie Sheen is already out of the hospital and going right back to work on Tuesday with absolutely no plans of...

   While Charlie Sheen lays in a hospital bed with nothing but his love of proving all porn stars are hookers keeping him alive, Kacey Jordan (above) has been identified as one of the women partying with Charlie for over 36 hours at his hou...

 In probably the greatest lawsuit since U.S. Fudge Consortium vs. Homophobic Slants, Inc., Diddy is being sued for $900 billion worth of child support by a woman who claims he not only “knocked down” the Twin Towers on 9/11, but gang-rape...

According to the latest reports, moody actress Kristen Stewart could star in upcoming movie Snow White and the Huntsman, but not as the huntsman!!...

Hollywood legend Anthony Hopkins would like to play Alfred Hitchcock in a movie. The 73-year-old actor revealed he hopes to star as the legendary filmmaker on the big screen and that actually he has been attached to such a project for four years....

   We’ve already seen Kacey Jordan, so I felt it was important to take a look at porn star Melanie Rios (Formerly Melanie Jane), the other fifth of Charlie Sheen’s hooker sandwich, who seems to prove he hasn’t entirely los...

   “This one’s for you, Chahlee. We’re the dreamers! We’re the.. fuckin’.. dream- Ohmygod there’s a hobo down here. Well, you’re welcome. Some people pay extra for that. $300 extra to be exact, the ...

Johnny Depp has apparently fallen in love with Venice while filming The Tourist last year, because he splashed out $17 million on a home in this city. The 47-year-old actor spent several months in the Italian city with his family while shooting the movie ...

   Before we get into this, let me bring you up to speed on Charlie Sheen’s condition, he’s the fucking Highlander. The man was hospitalized yesterday for a hernia and not a drug overdose because let’s assume he’s bu...

   Like an idiot, I assumed yesterday that porn star Kacey Jordan lawyered up because Charlie Sheen had more than likely overdosed on a briefcase full of coke. Turns out the reason was much more simple and obvious than that: Gold digginR...