Shortly after announcing their trial separation, David Arquette suddenly became an open book and went on Howard Stern to tell everyone Courteney Cox stopped having sex with him a month before they began filming Scream 4. Except, in a sur...

   After crashing the press conference for Gotti: Three Generations despite not even being cast in the movie, Lindsay Lohan gave an interview to Page Six where she made it abundantly clear she has absolutely no fucking clue on how F’d...

   Speaking of delusional coke-addicts who think just saying shit makes it real, Charlie Sheen has made it a habit lately to say he’s “in discussions” to come back to Two and a Half Men. Probably because people keep walkin...

   When your dress isn’t longer than your Spanx… you might be a redneck. No, wait. Welcome to the Thursday edition of The Crap We Missed featuring Ralphie! The Rock touching himself, Rumer Willis‘ rectangle face, Michael D...

   Author Bret Easton Ellis apparently decided to see how fast he could make Ryan Murphy’s head explode last night (Wow. Already with the gay metaphors.) by writing the following tweet. Via E! News: “I like the idea of Glee but ...

   - Gwyneth Paltrow makes bulimia fancy again. - Robert Pattinson is spreading disease. - Emily Browning stars in a movie about high-end date rape and, no, that’s not a euphemism for Sucker Punch. This time. - Brad Pitt and Angelina ...

   Justin Bieber is currently in Israel this week where he’s already complained about the paparazzi not respecting “places of prayer” by taking pictures of him trying to “walk where Jesus walked.” Which is hila...

   Mickey Rourke attended the Scream 4 after-party Tuesday night which he apparently only showed up for to see Harvey Weinstein. “I don't know nothing about the movie,” were his exact words. Vulture managed to catch up with him ...

   “So I said, ‘If I can’t fart in here, why are my boobs so big?’ We signed the deal that night.” Jessica Simpson appears in People’s World’s Most Beautiful Issue where she discusses having huge br...

   Jennifer Lawrence (Winter’s Bone, X-Men: First Class) appears in the latest issue of GQ, and despite the fact she’s in a bikini under ideal lighting conditions, she looked way hotter at the Oscars. Which is actually a complim...

   Lady Gaga appears in the Fashion Issue of Harper’s Bazaar where along with decrying plastic surgery as “promoting insecurity” – Because eating disorders are so much better. – she also described moving to LA ...

   Suck it, People. Photos: Getty, Splash News Read More ... ...

   In a shocking twist to the Michael Douglas beating cancer story, Catherine Zeta-Jones reportedly checked herself into a mental institution to deal with a bipolar disorder that no one knew she had until now. ABC News reports: “After...

   SURI: Stand back, faggot! Mother and I shall vanquish these foes. TOM: It’s “daddy,” young lady. SURI: SILENCE! The Crap We Missed: Brought to you by The Xenu Child Warrior Center. A Learning Place. - The Superficial Cl...

   In case there wasn’t enough evidence that Justin Bieber truly is the Messiah sent to earth from… Canada, he’s in Israel right now where, according to the New York Times, he’s either afraid of going near children b...

   Because I’m brave enough to not know the difference between pregnancy and a beer gut, I speculated yesterday that Scarlett Johansson might be pregnant with Sean Penn’s child after seeing photos of them jogging together. Turns...

   Lindsay Lohan was recently reported to be up for the role of Victoria Gotti in the John Gotti biopic Gotti: Three Generations starring John Travolta. Except it turns out she’s only in the very early stages of talks, but that didn&#...

   “Does this Crow person enjoy polo? Because I like polo.” After Brandon Lee died filming the original Crow, every single sequel sucked to the point that the last one went straight to video and somehow starred Edward Furlong. S...

   “This looks worth a $100 million divorce settlement.” – Tiger Woods’ erection. - Kim Kardashian is Jennifer Love Hewitt now. - Michael Douglas is probably not a huge fan of greed now. - Jennifer Lopez is the world...

   After Ashley Greene kicked him to the curb, Joe Jonas is apparently trying to shed his purity ring image and prove how hard, so hard… he is by laying down with Chris Brown. Or is it laying down a track? Doesn’t matter. Here&#...

   Hayden Panettiere might only be 5′1″ but that’s not about to stop her from letting 6′6″ Wladimir Klitschko essentially blend her uterus with his giant penis. I know I’m making that sound really romanti...

   Presumably forged in the finest of Scientology slave camps, John Travolta walked around New York today with a new wig to hide his well-documented baldness because apparently he assumes people look at the Internet just as much as he does....

   Welcome to today’s The Crap We Missed and I’m just gonna cut right to the chase: I’m entirely trying to see how many boobs, side-boobs and midgets it takes to make up for a Kirstie Alley panty flash. I’d go into m...

   - Justin Bieber is following in Jesus’ footsteps now. Literally. - Joan Rivers reminds us that with age comes wisdom. - And these old people are the exception that proves the rule. - January Jones banged Matthew Weiner. That’...

   Over the past few weeks, many people have been left wondering just what the 26-year-old Scarlett Johansson sees in 50-year-old Sean Penn, so at this point I’d like to toss my hat in the ring by saying he put a freaking baby in her....

   The Internet was built for exactly two things: Porn and watching people almost die from hilarious injuries. Somehow, this video of Lady GaGa falling onstage in Houston qualifies as both. Here she is proving the numbing qualities of cocai...

   Taking a page from the Vanessa Hudgens playbook – minus the seedy and spread eagle parts – Ashley Tisdale is apparently looking to shed her sweet, innocent Disney image as well by posing for the “Nude Issue” of Al...

   Yesterday, Kim Kardashian made a huge hubbub about Cosmopolitan featuring her on the cover of their Turkish edition (above) during the same month the Armenian genocide – committed 100 years ago by the Turks – is remembered by...

   By the way this news has been breathlessly reported over the past hour you’d just assume the Earth has spun off its axis, or worse, Charlie Sheen came up with a new catchphrase. Anyway, Natalie Portman has apparently given up being...

   Setting aside the distance between the pedals and his feet, is Tom Cruise letting Katie Holmes drive really the best idea here? He might as well have taken her out back and shown her the gopher hole that runs under the compound wall. ...

   - Hulk Hogan just won my heart all over again for the very first time. - Vanessa Hudgens hates the Internet now. - Dennis Quaid reveals coke was big in the 80’s. Who knew? - Michael Shannon will fight the British Superman. - Chris...

   Welcome to the Monday edition of The Crap We Missed: Now with way, way less boob than the last time. I’m talking negative boobs. Anyway, January Jones smuggles McDonald’s into Lakers games ’cause she’s fancy. Sand...

   When you’re pregnant the last thing you want is to be reminded how grotesquely huge you are, so of course, Selma Blair found herself standing next to Alessandra Ambrosio over the weekend. For those of you who don’t know who s...

   “Say I was the worst Lois Lane, willya? Take that ocean! Pew pew pew!” Because I feel bad about those Kathy Griffin pics (I don’t.), here’s Kate Bosworth going for a topless swim in Mexico yesterday where she surp...

   Here’s Kathy Griffin continuing her bikini assault on Hawaii which is convenient because just this morning I was trying to remember the last time my penis rocketed back into my pelvis like a frightened turtle on speed. Which would ...

   Lindsay Lohan reportedly hid in the closet this weekend while her father Michael Lohan was outside her apartment looking in the windows and “trying to break in,” according to TMZ: We’re told MiLo was also staring in the...

   “Did someone say moonshine?” Despite a winning, hillbilly grin that makes me wonder what kind of sad world we live in where a man this handsome has to pay for sex, Charlie Sheen couldn’t win over the crowd at Radio City...

   Welcome to the double deuce volume of The Most Important People on the Internet: Now with 10% more midget jokes! That being said, I’m pretty sure everyone gets it in the dick this week from lesbians to gamma-radiated African-Americ...

   Earlier this week, LeAnn Rimes tweeted a photo of her emaciated form in a bikini to silence all the critics who say she has an eating disorder. Turns out it’s way crazier than that. As E! News has discovered, Eddie Cibrian’s ...

   *BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP* “Tell me if I’m too close to the curb!” *BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP* Photos: INFdaily Read More ... ...

   If I died right now, what are the odds I’d come back as Kelly Brook’s baby? Say a lot. The Crap We Missed – Brought to you by Friday. Fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun f...

   - Robert Pattinson hates having his picture taken. - But Nick Cannon doesn’t mind unless he’s naked with his wife in them. - Gwyneth Paltrow’s cookbook should be great for any stay-at-home mom’s personal chef. - K...

   When I first embarked on this magical blogging journey, I always believed in my heart of hearts that if I waited patiently, I’d eventually see Lindsay Lohan turn to the mob to find acting roles. And here we are. TMZ reports: Lindsa...

   Following the London premiere of Red Riding Hood yesterday, Amanda Seyfried returned to her car just as a traffic warden placed a ticket on the windshield. You’d just assume she’d go, “Eh, fuck it, I’m rich,”...

   One of the few, if not only defense for Jersey Shore was always, “Hey, at least they’re not squirting out babies like those kids on Teen Mom.” Granted, they’re spreading disease and pestilence to an entire seaboar...

   Apparently Charlie Sheen watched Black Swan recently because now he can’t shut up about making Mila Kunis one of his goddesses. Also, cocaine makes you a delusional egomaniac. Probably should point that out, too. RadarOnline report...

   See? Why can’t Candice Swanepoel be a fatty like this? That’s all Victoria’s Secret is sayin’. Thursday. The Crap We Missed. ACTIVATE: The Situation apparently makes that stupid face when even he’s just look...

   January Jones appears in the latest issue of Marie Claire UK where she gives the kind of answers that make her portrayal of Betty Draper look like not that much of a stretch and also leave you wondering if she grabbed a small child after...

   Yesterday, I committed a horrible crime by tossing just one photo of Christie Brinkley visiting Good Morning America into The Crap We Missed when really she deserved her own post which I’m remedying here. For those who don’t ...

   - Gwen Stefani sounds cranky about something. - So does Bill Cosby. And this time its not about “that damn rap music.” - Disney is going to love this. - Ryan Gosling’s abs and Steve Carrell are in an unfunny version of ...