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Britney Spears Wanted To Be a Teacher

2011-08-26

   Back in March, Britney Spears told Out that she wanted to be a lawyer when she grows up, but those answers were provided via e-mail (Read: By a publicist.), so here she is doing a phone interview with Popjustice where she says she would&...

 

Sinead O'Connor is Really Horny

2011-08-26

   “Why aren’t you a penis?! ARRRGGHHH!!” Sinead O’Connor looks like this now, so keep that in mind as you read the personal ad she posted to her blog over the weekend that people are only just now catching onto beca...

 

The Crap We Missed – Friday 8.26.11

2011-08-26

   “This water tastes like dolphins!” Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed where, thanks to Sinead O’Connor‘s blog re-introducing us to “the difficult brown,” I came across a couple other situatio...

 

Laura Prepon, What The Hell Did You Do To Donna? And Other News

2011-08-26

   Posted by Photo Boy - Kathy Griffin is somehow creepier than Jim Carrey. Oh right, it’s her face. - And around and around the Internet goes with this thing… - Mark and Donnie Wahlberg have a burger joint. You’ll never g...

 

Jim Carrey Was Just Joking in a Completely Serious, Wants To Sniff Emma Stone's Hair While She's Sleeping Way

2011-08-26

   Yesterday the entire Internet was reminded that Jim Carrey has completely fallen off the deep end when he posted a video love letter to Emma Stone on his new website www.jimcarreytrulife.com that will eventually be Exhibit A when Emma...

 

Ashlee Simpson is Drunk Dialing Pete Wentz Now

2011-08-26

   “Thank you! And you’re baby is so cute, too. Have you used him to make a little emo bitch cry yet? Ohmygod, it’s adorable.” Because I enjoy a good Ashlee Simpson makes Pete Wentz cry tale as much as the next male ...

 

It's Time For 'Madonna's New Boyfriend or Just Another Child She Stole?'

2011-08-26

   Here’s Madonna and her child army/family in Eden Roc yesterday where she also brought along her new boyfriend Brahim Zaibat but please don’t ask me to point him out. I blow at Where’s Waldo? On that note, are we just go...

 

BUCKY LARSON: BORN TO BE A STAR – Official Red Band Trailer

2011-08-26

 Check out the Red Band trailer for Bucky Larson: Born To Be A Star starring Nick Swardson, Christina Ricci and Stephen Dorff. In Theaters September 9. - ADVERTISEMENT -Read More ... ...

 

David Arquette to Appear on DWTS

2011-08-26

David Arquette — who separated from wife Courteney Cox last year — is reportedly set to compete on Dancing with the Stars. According to gossip website TMZ, the 39-year-old actor will take part in the celebrity contest having as his partner the profess...

 

Jennifer Aniston Moves In with Boyfriend

2011-08-26

It seems that things between Jennifer Aniston and her boyfriend Justin Theroux are getting really serious! According to People magazine, the couple have officially moved in together!...

 

OUR IDIOT BROTHER – In Theaters Today

2011-08-26

 Check out the official red band trailer for OUR IDIOT BROTHER. In Theaters Today. - ADVERTISEMENT -Read More ... ...

 

Minka Kelly is Single

2011-08-26

   If you hate Derek Jeter, now’s your chance to have two boners for the price of the one. A “boner salad” if we’re using baseball terms. JustJared reports: Derek Jeter and Minka Kelly have called it quits after thre...

 

'I Demand Kelly Brook on a Cycle!' The Mayor of London Said, And So It Was

2011-08-25

   “And be sure she peeps me tackle- Oh, very good.” Because the British are an adorable nation of chimney sweeps and street urchins with a keen mastery of politics, the mayor of London launched his new Sky Ride today and per Pa...

 

This Is Why No One Likes Atheists

2011-08-25

 Nope. Nothing pretentious here. Photo: Splash NewsRead More ... ...

 

Peter Brady is Divorcing This

2011-08-25

   Back in May, Twitter cosplay fanatic Adrianne Curry and the once-Peter Brady Christopher Knight announced they were attempting a trial separation. “Moving forward will require a step back,” they said at the time. Apparently C...

 

The Crap We Missed – Thursday 8.25.11

2011-08-25

   Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed which is full of highly offensive images like Janice Dickinson smearing herself on some dogshit, poor, poor dogshit, John Stamos raising the bar on child seduction (Looking at you, Skarsgard...

 

Jersey Shore's Deena Banged A Chick

2011-08-25

   Welcome to the Sex Buffet. Population: Ladies. While filming in Italy, Jersey Shore’s Deena somehow managed to hook up with a chick The Situation brought home for himself, so I think it’s safe to say these kids are carting ho...

 

Kris Jenner Manages Kris Humphries Now

2011-08-25

   Because Kris Jenner runs the tightest Sasquatch whorehouse in Beverly Hills, it only makes sense that she’s going to manage Kris Humphries‘ career now because that’s what good mother-in-laws with the same name as you do...

 

Katy Perry is Looking Just Fantastic and Other News

2011-08-25

   Posted by Photo Boy - Rashida Jones is still all about that wiener. - Dave Franco’s Funny or Die video is something his brother James has dreamed of doing for a long time. - Ashton Kutcher couldn’t be douchier if he was spray...

 

Jim Carrey Apparently Wants To Bang Emma Stone

2011-08-25

   Jim Carrey and Emma Stone have never worked together, nor do they have any upcoming projects together which makes the fact he just posted a YouTube video of himself professing his love for her all that more random and depressing: I just ...

 

Ashlee Simpson Eager to Rekindle Romance with Pete Wentz

2011-08-25

According to reports, singer/actress Ashlee Simpson is desperate to rekindle romance with her estranged husband Pete Wentz....

 

Lindsay Lohan Begged Soderbergh To Deny Saying He Won't Work With Her

2011-08-25

   Last week it was revealed that Lindsay Lohan was campaigning hard to land a role in Steven Soderbergh‘s stripper opus Magic Mike, only to be passed over because she fell out of Dina Lohan’s vagina along with all the trappings...

 

Alexander Skarsgard Vill Break You

2011-08-25

   (Yes, I know he’s Swedish. For God’s sake, his middle name is Johan Hjalmar which means only Thor can wield him) Also, fun fact, today’s the Skarsgards birthday, so if you’re trying to think of a good gift to get ...

 

Jennifer Lopez is a Talented Performer and Other News

2011-08-24

   Posted by Photo Boy - John Slattery just let everyone know he knocked up January Jones. - Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison will prove that reality TV truly has no bottom. - Sharon Stone looks great as Aphrodite in Gods Behaving Badly,...

 

Paris Hilton's Show Got Canceled, Too

2011-08-24

   Apparently August has been a watershed month for reality television because following in the footsteps of Kate Plus 8 and LA Ink, Paris Hilton‘s The World According To Paris has been quietly shitcanned by Oxygen. Vulture reports: H...

 

Rihanna Made a Sex Tape With J-Cole, According To Hustler

2011-08-24

   Hustler magazine is claiming it has a sex tape featuring Rihanna and rapper J-Cole who opened for her Loud tour and featured her in his “Can’t Get Enough” video. How they got a copy is anybody’s guess, so let̵...

 

Trace Cyrus Knocked Up Brenda Song

2011-08-24

   Because I’m a 31-year-old man who doesn’t watch the Disney Channel (It’s mostly on in the background to lure children.), I have no idea who the hell Brenda Song is, so now she gets to make an awesome first impression by...

 

Why Does Christina Aguilera's Son Have A Black Eye?

2011-08-24

   Because mommy drinks. Or maybe this stuff. Who knows? Via TMZ: he photo was taken yesterday afternoon at LAX — with rumors circulating that Christina’s “erratic behavior and alleged booze-filled outings” somehow c...

 

The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 8.24.11

2011-08-24

   Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed where once again we’ve experienced a few server issues that we’re blaming entirely on the devastating effects of a beardless Jon Hamm returning to the Internets. (Read: Fish hum...

 

The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 8.23.11

2011-08-24

   Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed which you may notice is arriving several hours late because, Jesus Cristo, what a fucking afternoon. If the earth wasn’t rattling on the wrong coast thanks to Chick-Fil-A not being open...

 

Will Smith Caught Jada and Marc Anthony 'Watching a DVD'

2011-08-24

   Yesterday, a report broke that Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith are separating which they eventually denied by cryptically stating their marriage is “intact” along with planning to sue InTouch Weekly. Except a good idea migh...

 

Alexander Skarsgard Sees You, Ladies

2011-08-24

   He always sees… Read More ... ...

 

Natalie Portman Is Back to Work

2011-08-24

Oscar-winning actress Natalie Portman, who gave birth to her first child (son Aleph) in June, is getting back to work!...

 

This is Justin Bieber's Penis. No, Really.

2011-08-24

   From the mind who brought you Jelena: Our Love is Like a Goose Fucking an Armadillo comes Allegory of a Teen Sex Symbol, a bronze statue representing Justin Bieber‘s penis if Justin Bieber’s penis was made out of Looney Tunes...

 

Pregnant Cameron Diaz Looks Natural

2011-08-24

   Mostly because I think they’re contagious, I don’t spend a lot of time around pregnant woman as illustrated by my lack of ability to even recognize one. That being said, I’m pretty sure they don’t look like assles...

 

Kris Jenner Wanted Christina Aguilera To Play Kim's Wedding For Free

2011-08-23

   Kim Kardashian‘s wedding is now close to hauling in $17.9 million, so naturally Kris Jenner expected Jennifer Lopez or Christina Aguilera to perform for free because she’s a crazy person who actually believes her daughter is ...

 

Rihanna Won't Stop Wearing a Bikini and Other News

2011-08-23

   “No simulated butt sex. Hmph. Stupid boat…” Posted by Photo Boy - Ryan Gosling doesn’t like fighting, or menswear as it turns out. - Criminals probably got away with all kinds of shit thanks to Kim Kardashian̵...

 

It's The Motherf*cking Rapture

2011-08-23

 So, remember all those jokes I made about living on the coast that doesn’t threaten to break into the ocean at a moment’s notice? HAHA. I made this happen with my mind. For those of you who don’t know, a 5.9 earthquake just hit Vir...

 

Amy Winehouse's Family Says Toxicology Report Came Back Clean For Drugs

2011-08-23

   So this is happening. Via BBC News: Toxicology results have shown “no illegal substances” in Amy Winehouse’s system at the time of her death, according to her family. They say tests indicate alcohol was present but it c...

 

Megan Fox Is Too Good For Marilyn Monroe's Face Now

2011-08-23

   Marilyn Monroe is an iconic Hollywood actress who appeared in several timeless films beloved the world over before dying a possible drug-related – or Mafia induced – death in 1962. Megan Fox showcased her navel and fake tits ...

 

Will And Jada Reportedly Separate

2011-08-23

   If you believe an “insider” for InTouch Weekly, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith have separated, except here’s what happened when TMZ tried to confirm this story: TMZ placed a call to Jada’s rep, Karynne Tencer, ...

 

January Jones Is Bitchy To Small Children, Oh, Good

2011-08-23

   “Maybe if you weren’t such a little lesbian, that shark wouldn’t be eating you!” Jared Gilmore is only 10-years-old, but he’s already bounced on his role as Bobby Draper on Mad Men and heroically decided to ...

 

Jennifer Garner Will Be Mommy for the Third Time!

2011-08-23

Actress Jennifer Garner is going to be mommy for the third time! According to a statement released to the Associated Press, she and her husband Ben Affleck — who already have two daughters, Violet, 5, and 2-year-old Seraphina, together — are thrilled ...

 

Lady GaGa to Voice a Character in The Simpsons

2011-08-23

According to reports, eccentric singer Lady GaGa is set to appear on The Simpsons. The Born this Way hitmaker will voice an animated version of herself in the popular cartoon comedy series....

 

Milla Jovovich in a Bikini

2011-08-23

   Paul W.S. Anderson had waited all his whole life for the opportune moment to say “Hello” in his best Mr. Sulu voice. At last, that day had come, but when to say it? Too late, and his impotence a spectacle for all the world to...

 

This is Brad Pitt's Assistant

2011-08-22

   Last week, the Internet was aflutter after photos surfaced of Brad Pitt with a comely young assistant, Lara Marsden, on the set of World War Z. This is that assistant. Now, while most people might be inclined to say Angelina Jolie better...

 

Octomom's Showing Off Her Scars Now

2011-08-22

   “For the last time, lady, we know how you got those scars. Quit askin’.” If you can’t tell by the Snooki pool party post, it’s lunchtime on the east coast, so here’s Octomom showing off her pregnancy s...

 

David Hasselhoff is The Gay Matrix Now

2011-08-22

   Posted by Photo Boy Here’s David Hasselhoff performing at something called G-A-Y London which I naturally assume is some sort of club where they hold Fantasy Football draft parties. I guess I could use someone else’s computer...

 

Rihanna's Stage Presence is a Symphony of Poise, Grace and Other News

2011-08-22

   Posted by Photo Boy - Victoria Justice’s camel toe in a bikini, anyone? - Jeffrey Ross apparently has no idea who Charlie Sheen is. - Even Gwyneth Paltrow isn’t this much of an asshole. Just consider for a moment what it took...

 

The Crap We Missed – Monday 8.22.11

2011-08-22

   Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed where Dennis Rodman sports his Amazing Technicolor I Just Fell Off The Wagon And Into a Transexual Hooker’s Pile Of Coke Dreamcoat, and Gerard Depardieu battles Jon Voight to see who can...

 
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