As if he could smell the long-dead carcass of his acting career, Ashton Kutcher has accepted the position of assistant head coach for Harvard-Westlake prep school, according to Page Six: The team was totally surprised when they showed up for practice and...

Ashlee Simpson is having a boy - and just one of them, according to Jessica Simpson. Definitely not twins, she told Yo on E! yesterday. In the meantime, Pete Wentz decided Playboy would be the perfect outlet to announce the baby's gender: We know with 90...

Josh Hartnett is suing the Daily Mirror for printing a story that alleges he had sex in a hotel library and was caught on CCTV. Here's the supposed eye-witness report: Unfortunately the hotel has security cameras all over the place - the library included...

Jessica Simpson's country album Do You Know hit shelves today and, I'm guessing as part of its deal with Satan for scoring a Sarah Palin interview, ABC allowed Jessica to perform on Good Morning America. The result: FAIL. She ended up restarting her sing...

Nicole Richie almost had a chest bonanza (I'm tired of wardrobe malfunction.) yesterday while taking daughter Harlow Winter Kate for a walk, and I'm not ashamed to admit it: I'd probably take a peak at Nicole's boob. Even though logic and reason clearly ...

Playmates and Girls Next Door stars Holly Madison and Bridget Marquardt hosted the National Lampoon's Great American Run this weekend and I have no clue what the hell that is - but here's my wallet. Gimme the David Spade special; hold the baby. NOTE: Als...

In a revealing tidbit of non-news today, Alec Baldwin has discovered he's actually an asshole and that's what everyone else thinks of him too. He revealing that he was so humiliated after his extremely harsh and rant-filled answer machine message to his 1...

Actress Minnie Driver has survived the birth of her new son, Henry Story Driver, who was born in Los Angeles on Friday weighing in at a hefty 9 lbs., 12 oz, (4.4 kgs). Driver, 38, has not confirmed who the father is but it is believed to be San Francisco...

New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady suffered a season-ending injury Sunday playing against the Kansas City Chiefs, the AP reports: The 2007 NFL Most Valuable Player will miss the entire '08 season with a left knee injury that needs surgery, the te...

Severe fatique and post-partum depression is taking their toll on Angelina Jolie who reportedly is so exhausted juggling her new twins that she doesn't have time for her other four children. While partner Brad Pitt is away from home working the film festi...

Minnie Driver gave birth to baby boy Henry Story Driver on Friday, according to People: The baby was born Friday in Los Angeles and weighed 9 lbs., 12 oz., rep Jessica Kolstad says. Minnie Driver still hasn't revealed the baby's father which means it's d...

It goes to show that you can't believe everything you read on the Internet. Case in point was the hoax that was launched last Friday that teen superstar Miley Cyrus was killed in a car accident on her way to the set of a Hannah Montana movie. Not true, y...

Ashlee Simpson is reportedly carrying twins, according to E! Online: Hip-hop artist Tyga, Pete's buddy, says that the parents-to-be are expecting not one but two bundles of joy. They're having twins, Tyga said in an exclusive interview yesterday at the H...

Rejoice, my readers, for I am officially done posting about the VMAs. Moving on to more ample pastures, Lindsay Lohan attended Fashion Week in New York on Saturday, and her chest cannons made a comeback of their own. Sure, Britney Spears is now poised to...

If it wasn't bad enough that MTV rigged the VMAs to salvage Britney Spears' careers, the network also watered down the show by including sugary sweet performances from Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers. The latter are sons of a preacher and apparently w...

I spoke too soon. Paris Hilton (Yes, the Gaping Canyon of Herp herself) came to the rescue of the chaste Jonas Brothers after they were ridiculed by VMA host Russell Brand, US Magazine reports: I don't pick on them, Hilton told Usmagazine.com after Brand...

Fall Out Boy Pete Wentz loves to say stuff to stir up publicity for him and new wife Ashlee Simpson and he made a good play by going on a Phoenix radio show yesterday. While talking about preparing for parenthood, Pete said that he and Ash have been keepi...

Gary Coleman, the well-known child actor who starred on Diff'rent Strokes in the eighties, is back in the news with another embarrassing incident. The pint-size star doesn't appear to enjoy being approached by fans for an autograph and sometimes goes nucl...

Hey, remember when Britney Spears' manager Larry Rudolph said she'd be doing something fun and unexpected to open the MTV Video Music Awards? That dude lied! After a prerecorded skit with Superbad star Jonah Hill, Britney took the stage at last night's V...

She didn't perform a note but Britney Spears still managed to steal the spotlight at the MTV Video Music Awards on Sunday night. Following last year's disasterous over-weight, lip-synching horror show, Brit walked out, spoke four lines to welcome everyone...

The Sarah Palin News Vortex has bagged another celebrity. And this time it's a biggun'. Oprah Winfrey was ensnared in controversy this morning when the Drudge Report posted that the Big O, a vocal supporter of Barack Obama, is refusing to have Governor P...

Paris Hilton is no longer desperately seeking impregnation. Ho. Ly. Shit! *pops open champagne* WHOOPEEEEE! Hollyscoop reports: You know right now I'm just focusing on my business. A lot of traveling around the world. There's no time for a baby right no...

Since it's Friday and there's a serious celeb bikini drought going on, The Superficial is officially honoring the start of the NFL season by posting pics of the Lingerie Football League. After a week of intense political debate, I felt like we needed to ...

Lindsay Lohan has turned down a $700,000 offer to do an eight-page spread for Playboy. She doesn't want to do the whole nude thing again because, clearly, she's a terrorist. Someone had to say it. Page Six reports: If there's nudity, then the answer's no...

Lynne Spears tell-all book Through the Storm: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World is remarkably jam-packed with action for an evangelical book about parenting. Lynne reveals Britney started knocking back booze at 13 and, with her mom's hel...

Are Bill Murray and Dan Aykroyd ready to strap unlicensed nuclear accelerator ectoplasm blasters on their backs for a third Ghostbusters film? That's what the buzz is, and original cast members and fellow fighters of pesky poltergeists Harold Ramis and Er...

Christina Aguilera has been confirmed as a performer for the MTV Video Music Awards on Sunday. This will be her first major performance since giving birth to baby Max Liron, according to OK! Magazine: I'm very excited, said Christina about the news, whic...

R&B singer Usher is denying reports that he has separated from his much older wife, Tameka Foster, who is expecting their second child in December. Usher's career has been just wrong wrong wrong since Tom-eka walked into his life. The drama queen caused t...

She's the hot chick who keeps getting dumped by men! WTF? The Sun in London is venturing forth to ask the obvious question this week, what the heck is wrong with Jennifer Aniston? She's closing in on 40 and is still one of the world's most beautiful wome...

I can't even count how many readers have e-mailed me this picture of, what looks like, Governor Sarah Palin in a bikini brandishing a rifle. Allow me to set the record straight because, I shit you not, a ton of folks think this is real. (Smartest country...

These are shots of Brody Jenner's mom actress Linda Thompson at the beach. Since we've been having a dialog about abortion these past couple of days I thought I'd show what a woman who should've had one looks like: HOT! I don't know what kind of message ...

Katie Jordan Price went to Ripley's Believe it or Not museum last night wearing a see-through dress and what appear to be Granny panties. If that's not erotic to you guys, then I need to stop huffing glue at my desk. Anyway, I also included shots of her ...

Okay, maybe David Duchovny cheated on Tea Leoni after all. Apparently, The Duchov has a history of seducing unsuspecting extras. I bet he tells them there's a government conspiracy in his pants. Now that's smooth and something I could never pull off. Eve...

It turns out Lynne Spears did not send Bristol Palin $60 pink burpcloths on behalf of Jamie Lynn. I don't see why Lynne bothered denying the report because even a cynical bastard like myself thought it was a nice gesture. Until I remembered I have a peni...

Kim Kardashian wants to break into the music business, and, honestly, I can't blame her. If Heidi Montag's fake tits can score a record deal, I think Kim's ass deserves an LP at the very least. But that's just me. E! Online reports: I would be down, if i...

Somehow these bikini pics of model Caroline D'Amore from a few days ago slipped completely under my radar. Of course, one has to ask themselves: Who the hell is Caroline D'Amore? After some deep soul-searching I realized she's a chick in a bikini. Now I ...

Lordy how this youngun is growing! 17-year-old teen mama Jamie Lynn Spears is maturing fast since giving birth to baby Maddie two months ago. She's already showing some class and social grace by sending a selection of burp cloths from Petit Tresor to expe...

To any critics who say a woman can't think and work and carry a baby at the same time, I'd just like to escort that Neanderthal back to the cave. - Sarah Palin. With her 'naughty librarian' good looks, north country drawl of Marge Gunderson, middle class...

Thanks to my incredible ability to repress memories by way of binge drinking, I had almost completely forgotten about Britney Spears' performance/belly-dance at last year's MTV Video Music Awards. But, once again, Britney will be the opening act at this ...

Hotel heiress and sometime actress Paris Hilton has vowed to curb her party lifestyle because it's just not fun anymore. In fact, she says the whole club scene now leaves her feeling empty. As in, empty in the wallet? Paris, who was once paid six figure s...

Remember when David Spade found out he knocked up a Playboy Bunny? I'm kidding. No one does. But that didn't stop a baby girl from popping out of Jillian Grace's vagina making David Spade a first-time daddy and, also, a first-time wage garnishee. People ...

Where has Rachel Bilson been? It hasn't been so long since Jumper came out but it seems like forever since the O.C. girl has been on the magazine covers. Well, she's back and talking about her two loves: fashion and boyfriend Hayden Christensen. She's on ...

Christina Ricci hit the beach yesterday with her boyfriend Kick Gurry. Kick? Note to self: Change name to Chop Samson. Purchase water-bed, five barrels of Cool Whip, cape. Prepare for all the sex with Christina Ricci. End note. Addendum: Keep an eye out ...

Nobody knows more than Jamie Lynn Spears about being a teenager in the public spotlight while you're carrying the child of your retarded redneck lover. In an act of support, Jamie Lynn sent a baby gift to Bristol Palin the pregnant 17-year-old daughter o...

In the biggest display of FTWism ever, Pamela Anderson and Michael Jackson have been secretly dating, according to the UK Mirror. The two met up in Malibu and apparently hit it off proving my theory that Pamela would hump a toaster oven if it had a hedge...

Anne Hathaway was reportedly covering the $37,000/month rent for ex-boyfriend con-man Raffaello Follieri, according to the New York Post: He wasn't too ashamed to allegedly cadge thousands of dollars from his goo-goo-eyed girlfriend, Anne Hathaway. The G...

If you fell in love with the handsome bad boy brother-in-law of Elijah Wood's character in the 'Green Street Holigans' then you'll want to catch Charlie Hunnam on the new FX series 'Sons of Anarchy' beginning Wednesday night (3 Sept). The series could fl...

Jessica Simpson almost quit singing when she screwed up her performance of 9 to 5 at the Kennedy Center Honors Tribute to Dolly Parton. But Jessica's picked herself back up and is ready to give this thing called music another try. Also, Joe Simpson told ...

Undefeated boxing champion Floyd Mayweather Jr.'s Las Vegas mansion was broken into and robbed on August 17. Cops say four people busted through a bedroom window and stole around $7 MILLION worth of jewelry. In a surveillance video that's been show on th...

Lily Allen and Elton John presented the GQ Men of the Year Awards last night in London. Things got out of hand when Lily kept downing champagne like it was the antidote which pissed off Elton John and ended in the two exchanging words on-stage over who c...