Kristin Cavallari's Pregnancy Was An 'Accident'
2012-01-24
“All too easy…” While Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler‘s friends are telling everyone her pregnancy is just a good, old-fashioned accident because that’ll stop those baby trap rumors, Jay’s now trying to tell people ...
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Halle Berry's Trying To Make Gabriel Aubry Look Like He Beats Their Nanny Now
2012-01-24
Before we get started, I should probably correct a previous post that said Olivier Martinez proposed to Halle Berry. Turns out a jeweler made the whole thing up, so just assume the rest of this post is why Olivier’s biding his time in Chocolate B...
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Britney Spears' Dad Is Ending Her Conservatorship As A 'Wedding Gift'
2012-01-23
“Daddy, it’s just what I always wanted! (What’s a consvadership?)” Realizing that it looks like he essentially sold a retarded mule to stud, Jamie Spears has decided to end Britney Spears‘s conservatorship so her marriage ...
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Vanessa Hudgens' Still In A Bikini
2012-01-23
Here’s Vanessa Hudgens and Austin Butler still in Hawaii over the weekend which must be awesome for her ex Josh Hutcherson who’s also there with her to promote Journey 2: The Mysterious Island. Because not only does he have to hear, “...
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Justin Bieber Wants To Remake 'Fear' So He Can Be The Next Marky Mark
2012-01-23
Seen here grippin’ his dang-a-lang cuz Justin Bieber is the streets, the eponymous (I might be using that wrong.) maple wunderkind supposedly wants to remake Fear because it launched Mark Wahlberg from just another Southie dancing in his underwea...
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Rihanna & Chris Brown Partied Together. Oh, Good.
2012-01-23
Two weeks ago, a rumor was floating around that Rihanna and Chris Brown had been secretly hooking up for a year which I completely ignored because a.) he bashed her face in and b.) she doesn’t have a penis. Nothing added up. But then here they ar...
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The Crap We Missed – Monday 1.23.12
2012-01-23
Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed featuring the exact moment Michael Cera with a mustache went from hilariously adorable to pedophile, the luckiest girl in the world, the time Omar met Kirsten Dunst and Katy Perry‘s sick nipple-twistin...
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Heidi Klum & Seal Officially Separate
2012-01-23
When a couple dresses up as that time the Silver Surfer made a reconnaissance mission to the Yam Nebula of Purple Tittylon 7 for Halloween, you just assume theirs is a love that will stand the test of time. Which is why with sad news, and a heavy heart...
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Heidi Klum and Seal Have Officially Split
2012-01-23
It seems this New Year comes, unfortunately, with a lot of celebrity splits. Now, it's time for supermodel Heidi Klum and Seal to confirm they have called time on their marriage, which everyone thought it was perfect......
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Joe Paterno's Dead (1926 – 2012)
2012-01-23
“Wait. Is that a small boy trying to touch me? C’MON.” Where do I even begin? Back in November, at the age of 85, legendary Penn State football coach Joe Paterno was fired after a grand jury testimony revealed that former defensive coord...
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Kristin Cavallari Is Pregnant
2012-01-23
After being dumped by Jay Cutler days before their wedding, Kristin Cavallari made sure he can’t get away this time because she will not go back to drunkenly banging Corey from Boy Meets World again. And by made sure I mean she pulled a Jessica A...
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Miley Cyrus Don't Need No Bras and Other News
2012-01-23
Posted by Photo Boy - Girls for whom braless is just never an option. - Sean Penn is only acting to save Haiti now. No, really. - Courtney Stodden has a British doppelganger. - Gwyneth Paltrow is Kim Dotcom now. - Here’s what pornstars wear while...
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The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 2.6
2012-01-21
Do not adjust your monitors. Cameron Diaz looks like this now. Welcome to another journey of the soul we like to call The Most Important People on the Internet. This week, The Hoff was your muse proving that in this post-defeated SOPA world, only the l...
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Jennifer Aniston Wants to Take a Break
2012-01-20
According to Britain's Mail on Sunday newspaper, Jennifer Aniston has decided she wants to take a break from her movie career because she wants to focus more on herself and possibly her future family....
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More Proof Mark Wahlberg Is A Goddamn Idiot
2012-01-20
While Mark Wahlberg continues to back his head out of his ass after saying he could’ve stopped the 9/11 terrorists because the other passengers were clearly pussies with his latest excuse: “I am not an actor. I am a real guy from the streets a...
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The Crap We Missed – Friday 1.20.12
2012-01-20
Wait. How does the dog even know who she is to get it up? Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Peter Sarsgaard taking on a role that clearly should have gone to Michael Fassbender, a mortified Aaron Carter realizing his DJ equipment d...
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The Crap We Missed – Thursday 1.19.12
2012-01-20
Welcome to Thurdsay’s The Crap We Missed, where we find Mike Tyson sporting the second most ridiculous thing he’s ever worn on his face, Hugh Jackman making his way to what I can only assume is some sort of straight man convention and last,...
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Katy Perry Unfollowed Russell Brand's Twitter! OMFGSOPAPIPAABCBBD!
2012-01-20
In case you thought Katy Perry and Russell Brand‘s divorce couldn’t be more rife with sexy secrets, here comes the most shocking and scandalous news yet: Katy stopped following Russell on Twitter. Reginald, the smelling salts! There’s...
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Mena Suvari In Yoga Pants
2012-01-20
Earlier in the week, we posted about Mena Suvari filing for divorce and all you did was click on four-year-old photos of her chipmunk butt in a chipmunk bikini like it was the chipmunk antidote. So here’s that butt crammed into yoga pants yesterd...
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Courtney Stodden's Still Alive, Jogging in Heels
2012-01-20
Somehow we missed these pics of Courtney Stodden jogging in heels, but that’s in the past now, so let’s focus on two things that immediately jump out here: 1. Apparently Courtney Stodden needs a bodyguard now. And not just any bodyguard, bu...
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Vanessa Hudgens Wore A Bikini in Hawaii, Too
2012-01-20
Here’s Vanessa Hudgens and Austin Butler (?) in Hawaii yesterday because apparently it’s that magical time of the year when Marijuana Spring gives way to White Chocolate Winter. Also, we don’t post near enough pics of celebrities look...
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Taylor Swift and Zac Efron Seen Dating!
2012-01-20
Hot new couple alert!? According to Us Weekly, Taylor Swift and Zac Efron have been spotted enjoying a flirty dinner date....
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Vanessa Bryant Got $75 Million And 3 Mansions
2012-01-20
TMZ has just released the details of Kobe and Vanessa Bryant‘s divorce settlement, and can we finally start calling marriage the Cadillac of Prostitution? Because, seriously, when the job’s done, a court of law makes you sure get paid 10 ti...
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Kate Gosselin Really Wants You To See Where 8 Babies Came From and Other News
2012-01-20
Posted by Photo Boy - Yoga Pants: Side-eying men into divorce since 1973. - Exhibit A: Mila Kunis. - I think what David Lynch is trying to say here is he likes coffee. - Dane Cook acted like a douchecanoe. What strange and unusual times are these…...
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Thor Has Swim Parties With Matt Damon. Why Not?
2012-01-19
After proclaiming he’d sired a child deeply into Elsa Pataky‘s womb, here’s The Mighty Thor teaching the dainty Hollywood actor Matt Damon how we grow men in Asgard: “With water slides! Water slides as far as Odinson’s bel...
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O.J. Simpson Is Khloe Kardashian's Dad
2012-01-19
The National Enquirer isn’t exactly the most accurate publication known to man, mostly because this site is, but occasionally they nail one so far out of the park, aliens are peeing on it in a sex tape. Here they are solving the mystery of who pu...
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Rihanna's Still Wearing Bikinis In Hawaii
2012-01-19
Here’s Rihanna spending her last day in Hawaii with a little paddleboarding because if you’ve never baked your face off then swam out to sea and blown smoke rings into a sea turtle’s face, are you really even alive? Full Disclosure: I...
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So Katy Perry Was The Sex Addict?
2012-01-19
“Who’s cheating now, Dr. Jones?!” When Katy Perry and Russell Brand‘s marriage fell apart, you’d just assume he’d be the first one to fly off to Southeast Asia and drown his sorrows in their world-famous sex industry...
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When Chuck Norris Says 'Jump,' Sylvester Stallone Says.. Well, It's Mostly A Lot of Mumbling
2012-01-19
“You heard me, Stallone. A trailer full of quality thermals AND plaid button-ups… or I walk.” Yesterday, The Huffington Post linked a report where Chuck Norris claimed to have roundhouse kicked The Expendables 2 down to a PG-13 rating be...
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Michael Fassbender Should Wear Tighter Jeans And Other News
2012-01-19
Posted by Photo Boy - Stacey Dash‘s Twitter account should be enough for Congress to kill SOPA. - On the other hand, JLo‘s might screw me out of a job where I don’t have to wear pants. - Jon Voight doesn’t understand how adoptio...
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Mark Wahlberg: 'Sorry, Pussies'
2012-01-19
In case you blacked yourself out of the Internet yesterday like a goddamn Commie – I kid. BLACK POWER. – Mark Wahlberg stepped in online shit when excerpts from his interview with Men’s Journal were revealed in which he basically says...
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Katy Perry Scared of What Russell Brand Might Say
2012-01-19
According to a new report from Us Weekly, pop diva Katy Perry has been left heartbroken by her estranged husband Russell Brand and she is now scared that he will reveal all the nasty details from their short-lived marriage....
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Katherine Heigl Wants to Return to Grey's Anatomy
2012-01-19
Although she controversially left Grey's Anatomy back in 2010 after criticizing her character Izzie Stevens, Katherine Heigl confessed she would like to return to the ABC medical drama, although she is not sure if this will be possible....
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So Here's Jessica Simpson In A Penis Mask
2012-01-19
If you’re mind is even capable of processing words right now, ginormously pregnant Jessica Simpson was at a bachelorette party over the weekend and apparently decided to compensate for not being able to drink her usual 800 margaritas by tweeting a ...
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Snooki Looks Good Without Makeup On? That Can't Be Right.
2012-01-19
Apparently it’s celebrities going au naturel on Twitter week, because here’s Snooki without makeup on in a photo posted to Twitter yesterday and, no, your coffee wasn’t switched with a beaker of LSD again, she seriously does look dece...
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Mark Wahlberg Would've Stopped 9/11, Everybody
2012-01-18
“I would’ve said hi to their mothers for them. I’ll tell you that much.” In an interview with Men’s Journal, Mark Wahlberg basically calls all the passengers who died on 9/11 pussies because had he been on that flight like...
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Johnny Depp Is Definitely Single
2012-01-18
A few weeks back we posted that Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis were calling it quits, but like anything we post, it could’ve very easily been complete bullshit. I probably would’ve guaranteed it. Except now PEOPLE‘s running with thei...
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Courtney Love, On The Other Hand, Probably Could've Stopped 9/11
2012-01-18
While Mark Wahlberg openly asserts he’s tougher than the 250+ people who died crashing into the World Trade Center because obviously they were a bunch of faggots, here’s Courtney Love demonstrating how you really fight terrorism: With more ...
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Anthony Bourdain Nails Paula Deen. Not Like That.
2012-01-18
“Thinking of getting into the leg-breaking business, so I can profitably sell crutches later.” - Anthony Bourdain after Paula Deen announced her endorsement deal with Novo Nordisk. Photo: Troll.me via IDLYITW Enjoy your daily dose of The Super...
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The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 1.18.12
2012-01-18
Ha! Sipowicz banged her. — God, I’m old… Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed coming at you earlier than usual today because we kind of feel like scabs with all this SOPA action going on. Then again, as much as I want to pr...
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Hello Again, Vanessa Hudgens, and Other News
2012-01-18
Posted by Photo Boy - This would’ve been a link to theCHIVE rife with boobage. Damn you, principled stands! - Kristin Wiig would really, really love to stop talking about Bridesmaids 2. - Jay-Z might also want to consider removing the word “...
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Rihanna Trades Her Blunt For A Bikini
2012-01-18
Taking a break from openly smoking her face off all over Hawaii, here’s Rihanna on a shark boat yesterday because after dulling your reflexes for 48 hours, you kind of want to swim with sea creatures that will chew your goddamn thorax out. Unfort...
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Johnny Depp Splits from Vanessa Paradis
2012-01-18
According to a shocking new report from People magazine, Johnny Depp and his long time girlfriend Vanessa Paradis have officially split....
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Snooki's Still Knocking Back Diet Pills
2012-01-18
Back in May, a bunch of you wrote in about Snooki sucking back Zantrex diet pills, and I’ve been informed she’s still on them which explains her face in this bonus gallery we posted last week. Here I just assumed ol’ Snook was getting...
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BREAKING: Cameron Diaz Can Look Worse
2012-01-17
Probably because the photographer who shot these spent most of the day praying in Latin to revive his dead penis, it took until late yesterday for these pics of Cameron Diaz in all her man-armed, bleached-death splendor at Harvey Weinstein’s Gold...
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Megan Fox And Lindsay Lohan Are Competing For That Elizabeth Taylor Role Now
2012-01-17
Last week, we learned that Lindsay Lohan is up for the role of Elizabeth Taylor in an upcoming Lifetime movie and as of this morning, her mom was trying to convince people it’s because Lindsay is so mature now. Turns out the producers are basical...
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Kris Jenner's Kids Caught Her Cheating On Robert Kardashian With Bruce Jenner
2012-01-17
“Look at that nice young girl flashing her hoo-ha for attention. Why can’t Kendall be more like that?” On top of learning that Robert Kardashian admitted to his ex-wives that Khloe was basically a bastard Wookiee he took in and loved ...
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The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 1.17.12
2012-01-17
“Wait. I’m still alive?” Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed where we find out that in the face of impossible odds, James Franco discovered a more irritatingly hipster way to perpetuate a junkie’s motto, Robin Roberts ...
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Rihanna's Still Smoking Weed And Confirming It On Twitter Because Did I Mention She's High?
2012-01-17
Apparently Rihanna is on a vacation of the body and mind because here she is smoking another giant blunt in Hawaii, only this time she’s decided to walk around with it in public on top of confirming she’s baking her face off on Twitter. So ...
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What's Up, Vanessa Hudgens? And Other News
2012-01-17
Posted by Photo Boy - Some other chicks who are probably just into white chocolate. - The 40 Absolutely Worst People In America: Let’s go ahead and reopen that Eugenics discussion. - James Franco doesn’t need porn anymore. - How these aren&...
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