Thanks to Gisele Bundchen making a team of grown men cry like schoolgirls these got shoved to the back-burner, so here’s Scarlett Johansson at the Goldene Kamera Awards in Berlin over the weekend looking surprisingly good again after spending a y...

Seen here taking her son to a show that claims Michael Jackson is “immortal” yet, somehow, not a single person goes, “Child sacrifice, ‘ey? Not on my watch,” Christina Aguilera‘s weight is becoming the tights-wearing...

And by class and sophistication, I mean summoned Tim Tebow by making a cross with giant glowing dildos and then hanging out with Jenny McCarthy and Carmen Electra who, judging by this photo, banged later. So, again, way classier than whatever the hell ...

A few weeks back, Rihanna and Chris Brown were spotted partying together at the same club, although later reports cleared up it was just a coincidence and Chris was even there with his girlfriend Karrueche Tran. Jump to last night, where the two ended ...

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed full of treasures like Russell Crowe eyeing up his Blackberry’s next target, Ray J propositioning Whitney Houston with a career-reviving golden shower, Tim Burton feeling the joy of fatherhood and Ashl...

And Maria Menounos just made them commit suicide. As the New England Patriots try to figure out how the hell they lost another Super Bowl to the Giants, perhaps they should look into how a team of grown men are apparently delicate flowers who can’...

According to a new report from Us Weekly, Jackson Rathbone — who is best known for playing Jasper Hale in the Twilight Saga movie series — is going to be a dad!...

Posted by Photo Boy - Hot Chicks in the middle of nowhere. Easy, Ben Roethlisberger… - Steven Tyler is why sexual harassment laws (and boner pills) exist. - Kelly Clarkson didn’t forget the words or spontaneously menstruate. Well done, ma&#...

“And so science theorizes that this Higgs boson particle- you know what this is getting way too complicated. Just touch their breasts, son. Ol’ Joe won’t steer you wrong.” With God preoccupied exacting His revenge on Tom Brady f...

According to a new report, Angelina Jolie is considered to be the cause of Johnny Depp's split from Vanessa Paradis, because Vanessa thinks Johnny cheated on her with Angelina while they were filming The Tourist....

In case you haven’t heard by now, America once again found its delicate sensibilities in a bunch when M.I.A. flipped off the camera for all of .005 seconds (after the jump) during last night’s Super Bowl halftime show which I’m only a...

“Shh… Shh… Now you listen to me, Tom Brady. There’s one thing you’ll always have that no one can ever take.” “My waterslide? And what do you mean ‘take?’ Ohmygod, is it in trouble?!” Because G...

Welcome to another installment of The Most Important People on The Internet featuring the best of the horrible shit you shit-slingers slung this week. Shit like this gem from commenter me which almost blows away the competition because here’s the...

In case her week-long bikini tour through Hawaii wasn’t enough, here’s Vanessa Hudgens breasts leaving a dance studio yesterday before walking the red carpet at the LA premiere of Journey 2. And you almost have to respect the simplicity of ...

The last time we saw Jamie Lynn Spears on the site it was 2009, and you’ll be surprised to learn she was not murdered by Britney in a freak Whopper accident as I’ve assumed since then. Turns out she’s been quietly raising her daughter...

After finding out that no less than four dudes might’ve put a baby in Snooki, apparently last night’s episode of Jersey Shore features a scene (after the jump) where America’s favorite Ewok Slam Pig just literally starts peeing all ov...

“I guess if GaGa were to have kids, I’d probably devour them or convert them to a life of serving my dark arts, but can we talk about me now? I’m kind of great.” Apparently Madonna‘s giving 800 interviews these days –...

Awesome. Now I can’t stop trying to remember the warthog’s name from The Lion King. Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed where we see that Whitney Houston‘s back at the top of her game, Russell Brands‘s nipples will feed...

Posted by Photo Boy - Last time I checked Tinkerbell didn’t have huge fake tits. And oh, how I’ve checked. - Dr. Phil thinks men care what he has to say now. Ha, that guy! - Here’s who’s all up in Scarlett Johansson these days. ...

According to the latest reports, Beyonce Knowles is wanted for the X Factor and she has apparently been offered a $500 million deal to become a judge on the show. The deal will be $100 million per year, for 5 seasons....

America's sweetheart Julia Roberts has recently revealed it wasn't that funny playing the evil queen of Snow White, especially when she needed a break to go to the ladies' room....

Shortly before Demi Moore somehow found herself in the hospital after sucking back whip-its and K2 Spice on a stomach full of nothing but Red Bulls, Bruce Willis reportedly urged her to go to rehab. So just assume that conversation involved both of the...

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have 27 kids, so short of running into their rooms firing shotguns into the air to wake them up – Which, by the way, I’m entirely cool with. – I don’t really see the need for a big kerfuffle over any...

Yesterday, RadarOnline reported the following about Lindsay Lohan most likely crashing Harvey Weinstein’s SAG awards after-party. (Quick Note: She’s permanently living at the Marmont now, so just assume she’s using an intricate system...

Note: When not properly rotated, Kim Kardashian‘s ass cheeks can become flat and experience loss of tread. Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed which is almost entirely female with the exception of Jake Gyllenhaal (Debatable, I know.), ...

While I personally believe it’s the ability to assume the body of a griffin and rain fire upon her enemies, it’s often been said that Madonna‘s greatest strength is her ego. And after reading her latest interview with Newsweek, I̵...

Considering the last time the Patriots faced the Giants in the Super Bowl her husband went home crying without even touching his waterslide, Gisele Bundchen has found herself turning to the very same deity Tom Brady proved doesn’t exist when his ...

Posted by Photo Boy - Cleavagey Redheads. Must be Thursday. - Jean Dujardin just earned his U.S. citizenship in my eyes. - Of course Courtney Love believes smoking crack made her great at math. - Looks like nobody will commit to Taylor Swift. - Miranda...

And apparently parking on them’s tight on Sundays. Makes sense. While the world sat in horror from the prospect that Snooki might have procreated – Or more accurately, consciously decided to see one of her pregnancies through. – she w...

Demi Moore's ex-husband Bruce Willis is apparently coming to her rescue after she was taken to hospital following her seizure....

Trashy 18-year-old Taylor Momsen has revealed she is too busy to go on dates. The singer/actress insisted she is so involved with her band The Pretty Reckless at the moment that she's not interested to have a boyfriend....

In the March issue of Glamour, Amanda Seyfried sets the record straight that she did NOT bang Justin Timberlake and then takes it one step further by basically outing him which is the only way to read this: Oh, I think any female that meets him at firs...

Harry Potter‘s not gonna like that second pose. Gwyneth Paltrow graces the cover of Harper’s Bazaar where she opens about how she’s basically Betty Draper from Mad Men, and not sure if you knew this, but she’s best friends with ...

More details continue to fly into our nostrils out of the whipped cream can that is Demi Moore‘s life. This time around, we learn she’s been actively pursuing Zac Efron in a desperate attempt to see if his penis will reverse the effects of ...

Even though we now know Snooki isn’t pregnant and can stop bracing for the apocalypse, I felt it was important to point out that at least four different dudes could’ve potentially been the father, so just call me Captain Obvious. Hollywood ...

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed coming at you early because this news day is slower than Jonah Hill‘s metabolism. Anyway,  Michael Fassbender delivers a mixed message, saying either “Fuck you” or “Goddamn, h...

“I choose PUBENDOR!!!!” While you and your children were enjoying the magical wizardry and adventure of the Harry Potter movies, Daniel Radcliffe was thinking the whole time about how much he loves having tons of pubes and then pressing sai...

Posted by Photo Boy - This isn’t as cool as an old lady with sweet jugs, but it’s close. - Joan Rivers getting high is what reality TV is all about. - The Vanity Fair Hollywood Issue forgot to include Hollywood stars. - Channing Tatum wore ...

According to a new report from Us Weekly, Demi Moore's friends are really worried about her. They all thought she was going to die when she was rushed to hospital on January 16....

According to Harper's Bazaar March edition, screen beauty Gwyneth Paltrow confessed she is totally against plastic surgery and she actually likes to grow old gracefully....

Originally this was supposed to be a post about Snooki and JWoww‘s Jersey Shore spinoff being told to eat a dick by the city of Hoboken, but it turns out someone actually figured out how to impregnate an Ewok and/or distract one from the abortion...

I make a lot of jokes about Reese Witherspoon – Mostly about her chin and that time she kept showing everyone how huge her labia are. – but at the end of the day, she’s really a lot like us. And by that I mean she heard Justin Bieber ...

When George Clooney dumped Elisabetta Canalis, it was pretty much assumed it’s because she brought up marriage and commitment gives George Clooney cancer. Turns out she’s a gaping famewhore which explains why you’re looking at Elisabe...

Kardashian Kollection Denim: Because A Sextape Will Give Your Father Cancer Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed where we get to see how Vanessa Hudgens reacts to her entourage telling her that she already exhausted Mexico City’s entire ...

Ron Paul might want to peel back the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and basically turn the United States into a boner-inducing fiefdom for rich, gun-toting white property owners, but he also wants to legalize weed so, really, how hard can that other shit make i...

Late last week, we saw photos of a drunken Miley Cyrus mouth sexing a giant black penis cake, so it really should come as no surprise that she tweeted this last night: cracked my tail bone doing a front flip… on to the couch. thats like when i tr...

First this week, there was Steve Jones announcing he's leaving American X Factor. Now, we add Paula Abdul to the list....

Shortly before tweeting photos of her giant breasts in a bikini (above), Kim Kardashian apparently decided to do her own PR this time and trick everyone into believing she’s really a deeply religious person with strong moral convictions so obviou...

According to reports, Kirsten Dunst is preparing to walk down the aisle in the near future. It seems although she and her boyfriend, actor Garret Hedlund, have been dating only for a couple of months, they are smitten with each other and feel ready to tie...

Rumer Willis just watched Demi Moore get taken away in an ambulance after going on a whip-it and K2 Spice bender because she’s too beautiful to buy real drugs, I have no fucking clue, so of course Rumer was already out hitting SAG parties by the ...