Rihanna's Fans Scare Chris Brown's Girlfriend. Let That Sink In For A Minute.
2012-03-13
At any given moment during Karrueche Tran‘s day she might accidentally peep Chris Brown‘s phone making her life essentially the equivalent of humping a landmine that might go off if you sneeze wrong. Except you’ll never guess what she...
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Kim Kardashian Responds To Jon Hamm Calling Her A 'F-cking Idiot'
2012-03-13
Jon Hamm is a college graduate from a modest background who worked his way up from teaching eighth grade acting to taking whatever gigs he could get, including setting scenery for porn, and literally clawed his way to becoming one of the most respected...
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Miley Cyrus' Ding Dang Ol' Boobies Upstaged Jennifer Lawrence
2012-03-13
“Whoo-ee! Where’d these come from?” Miley Cyrus isn’t even in The Hunger Games, but her boyfriend Liam Hemsworth is, so that’s practically an engraved invitation to show up to this hootenanny with her danggone boobies out ...
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Robert Pattinson Refuses to Take Off His Shirt
2012-03-13
In a recent interview, Twilight Saga star Robert Pattinson declared he doesn't like to take roles that require shirtless scenes because he's not willing to change his lifestyle!...
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Jennifer Lopez's New Video Will Look Like This And Other News
2012-03-13
- In case you were wondering if there’s a factory out there pumping out Megan Fox clones, yes. Yes, there is. - Olivia Munn almost turned her hacked photos into a win and then fucked it right the hell up. - Die Antwoord turned down opening for La...
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Jennifer Love Hewitt Works For eHarmony Now
2012-03-12
According to Crazy Days and Nights, eHarmony has supposedly hired Jennifer Love Hewitt as their new spokesperson which makes sense considering she’s practically the face of surprisingly inevitable spinsterism despite living in a world gone tit-ma...
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Stephen Hawking Has A 'Big Bang Theory' Cameo
2012-03-12
“Big bang dat ass.” You can’t run your ho game without making a torrential downpour on them bitches, so Stephen Hawking has agreed to a cameo on The Big Bang Theory because it has science in the name and sounds like a pretty sweet fuck m...
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Vanessa Hudgens Is A Dedicated Actress (a.k.a. The Crap I Missed – Monday 3.12.12)
2012-03-12
With Photo Boy gone for the week, The Crap We Missed is taking a backseat seeing as he gives it the loving, dedicated touch it needs where as I mostly just poke at it for a few seconds and then make up excuses about it having been a really long time. A...
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Selena Gomez Didn't Wear A Bra This Weekend And Possibly Got Drunk With Justin Bieber
2012-03-12
When you conduct high stakes Internet journalism like I do, you’re often faced with tough decisions. Tough decisions like, what’s the real story here? Selena Gomez not wearing a bra so her tank top gives off the slightest hint of nip? Or Se...
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Paris Hilton Wore This To Her Mom's Birthday Dinner And Other News
2012-03-12
- Brad Pitt continues his transition to Fabio. - Mind The Gap Monday should be federally recognized. I said it. - Eva Mendes is still banging Ryan Gosling despite talk of South African vagina. - Here’s Javier Bardem as a Bond villain who doesn...
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Heather Morris Got Naked And Now You Know Who She Is. See How That Works?
2012-03-12
Outside of Lea Michele and Dianna Agron, I honestly couldn’t tell you who the hell’s on Glee. But thanks to having her naked pictures conveniently “leaked” online complete with full facial shots so you know it’s her, I now k...
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Rihanna Can Shut Up Now
2012-03-12
If you thought Rihanna teaming up with Chris Brown to spin that time he basically tried to punch her to death into album sales was the stupidest and most irresponsible thing she could possibly do, now would be a good time to put on a helmet. Via RadarO...
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Peter Dinklage Is The Best At What He Does, But What He Does Isn't Very Nice
2012-03-12
I want to eff the Internet so hard right now… Read More ... ...
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Adele Is Wanted on X Factor
2012-03-12
Grammy-winner Adele is reportedly in talks to join the judges table on the US version of X Factor....
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The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 2.12
2012-03-10
Welcome to this week’s The Most Important People on The Internet now with 80% more donut-burger induced neck-boils. Ha! You kids and your skin growths. And for those of you new to the site, this is where we gather up all the horrible shit said in...
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Katy Perry's Banging The World's Highest Paid Male Model Now
2012-03-09
While Katy Perry‘s exposed cleavage has been relatively scant here in Merka, she’s been putting them on a goddamn pedestal for the past week while attending Paris Fashion Week which probably has a lot to do with them landing her the softly ...
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The Crap We Missed – Friday 3.9.12
2012-03-09
Yesterday, we posted Chris Brown deciding which Lamborghini to drive, so today we’re posting what he’s going to drive said Lamborghini into. “Bitch, I told you about showing me them titties!” Welcome to Friday’s The Crap W...
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'Spring Breakers' Has Guns And Butt Cheeks Now
2012-03-09
For the past week, photos of Vanessa Hudgens, Selena Gomez and Ashley Benson wearing tiny shorts with their butt cheeks hanging out have been popping up like crazy from the set of Spring Breakers, a movie we knew absolutely jackshit about because the f...
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Lindsay Lohan's A Ginger Again
2012-03-09
Last week Lindsay Lohan appeared on TODAY where they thought it’d be a great idea to show old footage of her in 2006 when she was a young hot redhead with an immune system that was only halfway to being destroyed by her mother pumping her full of...
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JUSTIN BIEBER IS CHEATING ON SELENA GOMEZ WITH TAYLOR SWIFT!! OMGZ!!!!
2012-03-09
There are two simple rules to the gossip racket: 1. If a woman retains more than .5 oz of water, she’s pregnant. 2. If two famous people stand within next to each other, they fucked. So with that in mind and armed with the information that report...
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Katy Perry Has a New Boyfriend
2012-03-09
According to the latest reports, singer Katy Perry — who split from husband Russell Brand at the end of December — has already found herself a new boyfriend....
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Shia LaBeouf is Hipster Jesus Now and Other News
2012-03-09
Posted by Photo Boy - Dennis Quaid‘s wife files for divorce so just assume she banged Russell Crowe, too. - Of course Rush Limbaugh defended Joseph Kony in 2011. - Take a trip down memory lane with Victoria’s Secret. - The twin sister of th...
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Amanda Seyfried & Josh Hartnett Were Banging This Whole Time
2012-03-08
Amanda Seyfried has been quietly banging her way through Hollywood, so it really shouldn’t be a surprise that Us Weekly reports she’s been banging Josh Hartnett underneath her taxidermy trophy wall since January. And I say no surprise, beca...
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The Crap We Missed – Thursday 3.8.12
2012-03-08
‘What color today?’ – Actual caption from Chris Brown‘s Twitter. Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed where I have to start out by asking is there a bigger tool on the planet than Chris Brown? To which Jason Segel repl...
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Hulk Hogan Banged So Many Women After His Divorce He Doesn't Recognize Woman In Sex Tape
2012-03-08
Seen here demonstrating his deep, fatherly commitment to blocking harmful UV rays from Brooke’s ass, Hulk Hogan has basically confirmed that he is in a sex tape, but had no idea it was even being filmed and can’t even remember the chick in ...
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BREAKING: Years Old, Publicly Available Photo of Andrew Breitbart Hugging A Black Guy Found
2012-03-08
Shocking. Just absolutely shocking. For those of you who don’t follow politics and think the site’s suddenly gone full Klansmen, shortly before his death, conservative provocateur Andrew Breitbart touted that he had come across shocking footag...
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Reese Witherspoon's Wearing A Puffy Vest. She's Pregnant.
2012-03-08
Not even a month ago, Reese Witherspoon said she’d love to have another baby, and now here she is wearing a puffy vest after this picture happened, so clearly she’s pregnant. Or her cameltoe‘s grown so large it can be worn as a vest n...
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Lily Collins Doesn't Envy Kristen Stewart
2012-03-08
There were several reports claiming that the two stars who are playing Snow White in two highly acclaimed movies this year are at war, but one of the actresses — Lily Collins — has set the record straight saying she and Kristen Stewart do not envy eac...
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Goldie Hawn Got Wasted in London and Other News
2012-03-08
Posted by Photo Boy - Hillary Duff clearly shot this video six months ago. - Country Girl goes to Hollywood, immediately whores out. - Steven Seagal‘s reality show might be complete bullshit after all. You don’t say. - Will Smith cheated on...
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Jennifer Love Hewitt Poses For Maxim, Still Vagazzles
2012-03-07
Here’s Jennifer Love Hewitt posing for the April issue of Maxim where she discusses how her giant breasts and dedication to vagazzling somehow still leave her unloved and alone without one of three pre-chosen rings on her finger: You're a big propo...
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The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 3.7.12
2012-03-07
Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed where Elle Macpherspon joins the growing list of women who are decades older, but infinitely hotter than Lindsay Lohan. Sarah Jessica Parker, however, does not. We also have the most blatant misuse of Mir...
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Of Course Lindsay Lohan Banged Terry Richardson
2012-03-07
If a pedophile traveled back in time and knocked up a 70s male porn star, Terry Richardson would be the end result provided you spent his formative years teaching him women are whores who’ll readily objectify themselves for coke and/or money. So ...
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Jessica Simpson Posed Nude For 'Elle.' Pregnant.
2012-03-07
Here’s a pregnant Jessica Simpson posing nude (Full shot here.) for the April issue of Elle if posing nude means they de-jowled her head and slapped it on Demi Moore‘s body because it was cheaper than airbrushing out nacho cheese burns. Regar...
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Lindsay Lohan Wants to Star on Next Muppets Movie
2012-03-07
According to sources, troubled star Lindsay Lohan wants to get her career back on tracks, and in order to do so she has eyed a role on the Muppets movie sequel!...
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Ashley Benson's Butt Cheeks Are Also in 'Spring Breakers' and Other News
2012-03-07
Posted by Photo Boy - Other Spring Breakers who may not be as interesting to the psuedo-pedo demographic. - Demi Lovato doesn’t want your kids to end up banging Wilmer Valderrama either. - Elizabeth Berkley waited until this wouldn’t interr...
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And Here's The Snooki's Pregnant Cover
2012-03-07
Like clockwork here’s the Us Weekly cover confirming Snooki‘s pregnancy and engagement even though she basically already did that by walking around with a giant rock on her finger Monday night. At any rate, here’s how Snooki plans to ...
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Bald Kim Kardashian Twerks Kanye's Fashion Show Hopin He'll Chop Them Cakes
2012-03-07
Here’s a balding Kim Kardashian in Paris last night for Kanye West‘s fashion show because Amber Rose got a bunch of press saying they hooked up once, and like a Read More ... ...
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Tina Fey Bailed On Lindsay Lohan's 'SNL' Episode
2012-03-06
“Lindsay! Lindsay! I’ll give you five dollars if you drool on this picture of you drooling.” Tina Fey wrote and cast Mean Girls, the film that essentially launched Lindsay Lohan into a super stardom where she just as quickly rocketed ...
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Kirk Cameron's Gay Friends Think It's Great He Called Them Unnatural Destroyers of Civilization
2012-03-06
“Alright, on three everyone say, ‘Our butt sex is killing America!’” After facing criticism for his remarks on homosexuality during an interview with Piers Morgan, Kirk Cameron has issued a statement to ABC News where he literally ...
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The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 3.6.12
2012-03-06
Welcome to Tuedsay’s The Crap We Missed where Jason Biggs just about chucks up his chili dog after being reunited with Tara Reid‘s vagina, Nicole Kidman is starting to leak everywhere now, and Mickey Rourke knows there’s no place like...
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It's Snooki's Engagement Ring
2012-03-06
Yesterday, we found out that Snooki is probably engaged on top of being pregnant with God knows who’s baby. So, of course, here she is suddenly walking around with a rock on her finger last night which means her Us Weekly cover is most likely goi...
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Paula Deen Wanted To Dress Up 'N-ggers' And Make Them Tap Dance Like Shirley Temple. Allegedly.
2012-03-06
“Is that a negro? Bring it here. I desire jazz hands.” Paula Deen and her brother Bubba Hiers (This story’s great already, I know.) are currently being sued for sexual harrasment by Lisa Jackson the former general manager of their joi...
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Katy Perry's Still Showing Europe Her Cleavage and Other News
2012-03-06
Posted by Photo Boy - Mind The Gap Girls for those of you who aren’t unnatural abominations in the eyes of Kirk Cameron. - Jennifer Aniston moves out of New York, amazingly doesn’t choose France. - Chet Haze‘s Twitter account is the p...
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Snooki Got Engaged and Pregnant
2012-03-06
A couple of days ago, reality TV star Snooki — real name Nicole Polizzi — happily announced she is pregnant with her first child, and now she revealed she's engaged to her boyfriend too!...
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Tila Tequila Had A Brain Aneurysm That Made Her Do All The Drugs She Likes
2012-03-06
I’m going to ahead and read this report as Tila Tequila overdosed then made up some horseshit story about an aneurysm making her do it, but feel free to interpret this however you like. Via RadarOnline: According to the source, Tila suffered a br...
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Miley Cyrus Is A Debbil Worshipper!
2012-03-06
A few days ago, Miley Cyrus casually tweeted the following quote from theoretical physicist Lawrence Krauss and called it “beautiful” which has since pissed off a shitload of her fans who apparently still think she’s a sweet, innocent...
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Justin Bieber Bought A $10.8 Million House To Bang Selena Gomez In
2012-03-05
For my 18th birthday, my parents gave me an Nintendo 64 with a copy of GoldenEye and let me have a couple buddies over to spend the night throwing proximity mines at each others dicks. Except after midnight, we snuck out so I could buy cigars because I...
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Jennifer Lopez In A Bikini Has Nothing To Do With Kirk Cameron Hating Gays
2012-03-05
Here are just-released photos of Jennifer Lopez in Rio last month, that I’m going to assume were sat on so, per her instructions, they could weed out every single bikini shot where you see cellulite. So naturally two were left. On that note, here...
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The Crap We Missed – Monday 3.5.12
2012-03-05
Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed, a not-so-random smattering of tits and anything we find worthy of your snarky fodder. But mostly tits. Starting off, Channing Tatum eye-bangs the shit out of the front row while Jonah Hill pretends people w...
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Snooki's Pregnant AND Engaged Now
2012-03-05
Because these kids are all moral-filled canolis, Snooki‘s boyfriend Jionni LaValle has reportedly decided to make an honest woman out of the Ewok he fucked without a condom on, according to People. Except he should probably wait for a DNA test co...
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