'And, Lo, There Was A New Skarsgard, Forged of Chocolate And Ice…'
2012-05-17
For reasons known only to him and a lounge chair lovingly dubbed “Sir Holds Them Booties,” here’s Criminal Minds star Shemar Moore standing shirtless on a yacht in Cannes this morning while holding a champagne flute, so we’re ju...
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Miley Cyrus: A Lady Of Sophistication And The Such
2012-05-17
I honestly didn’t plan on writing two Miley Cyrus‘ posts today, but who could’ve honestly predicted she’d spend this afternoon hocking loogies off her hotel balcony before parading around in a tube top? Except don’t answer...
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The Crap We Missed – Thursday 5.17.12
2012-05-17
Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed which has everything important that happened so far at the Cannes Film Festival right here and here. We’ve also got Vanessa Hudgens who still thinks Coachella‘s going on, Joe Jonas coordinates ...
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Jennifer Nicole Lee's Still Wearing Bikinis And Other News
2012-05-17
- Jennifer Lopez‘s stunt double looks so much like her… - Don’t ask Mariah Carey about Britney Spears judging X-Factor. - Remixing Arnold Schwarzenegger‘s cheesy one-liners and setting them to music is just goddamn incredible. -...
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John Travolta Allegedly Tried To Fellate Jeff Conaway While He Was Sleeping
2012-05-17
While old accusers drop their lawsuits just in time for new ones to keep coming forward, John Travolta is now being accused of trying to blow his late Grease co-star Jeff Conaway which surprisingly ended their relationship because Hollywood has weird rule...
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'Teen Mom' Jenelle Got Engaged To That Dude She Publicly Claimed Beat Her. Of Course.
2012-05-17
According to Us Weekly, Teen Mom Jenelle Evans has announced she’s engaged to boyfriend Gary Head who, and I’m trying to remember all this correctly even though I actively tried to avoid most of this information, she openly accused on Faceb...
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It's Thor Holding His Baby
2012-05-17
“Stars of Asgard, this precious child is like a delicately wrapped sandwich filled with various meats and cheeses and perhaps even adorned with peppercorn.. Wench, I grow hungry!” By voluminous request, here’s The Avengers/Thor star C...
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Miley Cyrus Needs A Dang Ol' Tighter Dress, Man
2012-05-17
Following up Tuesday’s dog and booby show, here’s Miley Cyrus prancing around Miami in a super-tight dress yesterday because she really wanted to be an advocate for curvier, real woman, but dangit, wouldn’t you know a gluten allergy c...
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Justin Bieber Likes Drawing Penises
2012-05-17
In the same issue featuring an interview with Michael Fassbender about his giant penis that tries not to be about his giant penis, Deadspin‘s Drew Magary attempts to do an interview with Justin Bieber for GQ that turns into an exercise in dealing...
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Jenny McCarthy's Doing Playboy Again
2012-05-17
Like most scientists, Jenny McCarthy just wants the respect of her peers and to be acknowledged for her tireless research in the field of medical science. Which explains why she agreed to show her tits for money in the July issue of Playboy like the re...
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Courtney Stodden's Bo Derek Bikini Photos
2012-05-16
Like clockwork, here’s Courtney Stodden doing her best Bo Derek impression, and honestly, these are probably the best-looking shots of her since that set from before she discovered make-up, clear heels and sugar-daddying her way onto reality tele...
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The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 5.16.12
2012-05-16
Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed where we embrace Hump Day as hard as these two probably did seconds after this picture was taken. To be clear, the implication is that they had gay sex. Anyway we’ve also got Suzanne Somers still se...
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There's Probably A Kourtney Kardashian Sex Tape
2012-05-16
Dear God, please be recent… Apparently before he started dating Kourtney Kardashian, Patrick Bateman’s little brother Scott Disick and his buddies used to get chicks high and/or drunk off their ass, then film each other having sex with them...
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Elisabetta Canalis In A Bikini Will Kick Off Cannes
2012-05-16
Here’s Elisabetta Canalis and Sacha Baron Cohen on a yacht in Cannes this morning to promote The Dictator and the funniest part is that one of the agencies actually listed Elisabetta as “supermodel Elisabetta Canalis.” Which is an ama...
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Paris Hilton Is.. Cleavagey? No, That's Not Right, And Other News
2012-05-16
- Which are hotter: Girls in jean shorts or girls in jean skirts? These are the questions that try the Internet’s soul. - Gwyneth Paltrow is nice to reporters during press junkets? Whaaa…. - The SyFy channel basically made a movie about sha...
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Miley Cyrus Takin' Them Dang Ol' Puppies Fer A Walk
2012-05-16
Here’s a braless Miley Cyrus taking her new puppy for a walk in Miami yesterday while politely bending over for her fans and letting them look right down her shirt which is apparently every young girl with weight issues‘ dream come true. He...
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Reminder: Michael Fassbender Has A Giant Penis, Will Spank You With A Ping-Pong Paddle
2012-05-16
“Now, before we begin, how attached are you to your cervix?” Michael Fassbender is the cover interview for the June 2012 issue of GQ, so if you’re in the mood for reading about the trials and tribulations of everyone making jokes abou...
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Has Anyone Seen Nick Stahl?
2012-05-16
The last time Nick Stahl was in the news, he was arrested in March for not being able to pay a cabbie $84 – despite making $500,000 last year – and now comes word that he’s missing after spending a lot of time down on Skid Row. So bas...
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Bristol Palin Received Death Threats After Obama, Gay Marriage Post. Goddammit…
2012-05-15
Probably the worst thing that could’ve happened after Bristol Palin(‘s ghost writer) wrote a hilariously hypocritical blog post criticizing Barack Obama‘s support for gay marriage is an excuse for her to play the martyr, and of course...
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Mena Suvari's Ex-Husband Wants Spousal Support
2012-05-15
For two whole years Mena Suvari‘s unemployed ex-husband Simone Sestito got to have sex with her impossibly large chipmunk butt that by all rights should cause her to topple over every time she walks, so why wouldn’t he think that should ear...
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The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 5.15.12
2012-05-15
Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed that actually serves a valuable purpose for once besides boob-ogling. (It still has that.) And that purpose is Chris Brown‘s object lesson in the practical decision-making capabilities, or more accura...
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JLo Wore This Next To Cameron Diaz's Face
2012-05-15
Mmmm… JLO belly. While Cameron Diaz continued her metamorphosis into Madame at the Hollywood premiere of What To Expect When You’re Expecting last night (How many premieres/upfronts were there last night? 85 million.), Jennifer Lopez decide...
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Kim Kardashian Will Do 'Whatever She Can' To Get Near Beyoncé
2012-05-15
And apparently “whatever she can” means hooking. That’s dedication. Despite reports that Beyoncé wants Kanye West to keep Kim Kardashian the hell away from her, he’s inviting her to London anyway for his five-night Watch The Th...
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Good Morning, Brooklyn Decker, And Other News
2012-05-15
- NHL Ice Girls will warm your cold heart. - Salma Hayek seems really happy about the huge cash settlement her husband just paid the supermodel he knocked up while they were “on a break.” - Why is their a frozen bag of peas on your wifeR...
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Bertney's Gon' Be On TV, Y'All! And She Done Brought Her Britches
2012-05-15
Proving his voluminous man-boobs possess a dark bitch-tit magic that can bend men’s minds to his will, Simon Cowell successfully talked Britney Spears‘ dad and her fiance into accepting $15 million that she’ll never see a dime of to b...
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Kristen Stewart Seems Lovely
2012-05-15
Here’s Kristen Stewart, Charlize Theron and Chris Hemsworth at the world premiere of Snow White and The Huntsman Keep in mind this is a movie where Kristen is supposed to be more beautiful than Charlize, so it’s good to see they really sold...
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Tan Mom Wants To Do Playboy Now. I Swear To God, Hugh Hefner….
2012-05-14
Just… goddammit, New Jersey. If there’s anything this great country of ours has taught us, it’s that any type of publicity, even from reckless child endangerment, will immediately turn you into a celebrity who thinks she has a shot at...
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The Crap We Missed – Monday 5.14.12
2012-05-14
Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed which is bursting at the seams from a weekend full of hidden paparazzi gems. Gems like Goldie Hawn‘s timeless beauty, which applies to Brooke Shields as well. Big black microphones start to look small ...
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So Anne Hathaway Wasn't Wearing Her Engagement Ring In Those Bikini Photos. Or These.
2012-05-14
As far as everyone knows, Anne Hathaway has been engaged Adam Shulman since November. Except in the batch of bikini photos that popped up over the weekend, she’s not only not wearing her engagement ring, but spending the entire time with Italian ...
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Rihanna's Boobs Were Dinosaurs The Whole Time
2012-05-14
The last time Rihanna uploaded a bunch of pics to Facebook, it was of her butt in a bikini, so in her defense, the only way to top that is behind-the-scene photos where people paint lizard scales on her topless chest. So here’s Rihanna on the set...
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Octomom's Lecturing Tan Mom Now
2012-05-14
As a rule of thumb, if the media’s already given you a nickname that ends in “mom,” your best is to keep your mouth shut and pray to God no one ever finds the bodies from your first attempt at child-rearing. Unfortunately, Tan Mom has...
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Audrina Patridge's In A Bikini And Other News
2012-05-14
- Breasts that don’t have a giant gap between them. - Lisa Marie Presley quit Scientology, so hopefully this means more John Travolta trapping masseurs in a naked labyrinth stories. - Jennifer Lopez let her driver show his face on American Idol. ...
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Kim Kardashian's Cleavage Went To The Lakers Game
2012-05-14
“Girl, your titties are so big, I ain’t even thinkin’ ’bout Matt Lauer.” Because pretending to date Kanye West couldn’t possibly be enough publicity, Kim Kardashian reminded everyone she has giant breasts at Saturday...
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Lindsay Lohan's Fingers Are The New Lindsay Lohan's Teeth
2012-05-14
Back in October, absolutely no one was surprised to see Lindsay Lohan‘s teeth looking like chipped ashtray hell, yet it still became an Internet sensation anyway to the point that she actually went and bought new teeth. So to relive that magic, h...
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The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 2.20
2012-05-12
Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet featuring a virtual menagerie of pearls hand-picked out of the goddamn piranha tank known as the comment threads. On that note, this gallery is one of very rare times...
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Katy Perry's Goth Now
2012-05-11
Here’s Katy Perry at the NARM Music Biz Awards where she tried to bang Marilyn Manson after he cast an enchantment spell on her Adidas commerical. That’s really the only explanation here. Unfortunately for Katy Perry, she also has to go thr...
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Alexander Skarsgard Impregnated The Entire Hollywood Premiere of 'Battleship'
2012-05-11
Much like Alexander Skarsgard‘s penis when set to “Stun-Fuck,” I’ll get right to the chase: Here he is at last night’s Hollywood premiere of Battleship which we added horrible captions to, and as always, a little ditty to ...
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Anne Hathaway's In A Bikini
2012-05-11
Here’s Anne Hathaway making her first second bikini debut on The Superficial which I’m sure will be the crowning achievement of her respectable career. “Eh, working with Christopher Nolan was okay, I guess,” I imagine her saying...
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The Crap We Missed – Friday 5.11.12
2012-05-11
Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed which I figured I’d make almost entirely boobs since most of our female readership is busy trying to contain the fire hydrant that used to be their lady-groin thanks to Skarsgard. Anyway, for your enjo...
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John Travolta Accused Of Soliciting Third Masseur For Gay Sex, Sends Kelly Preston Into Hiding
2012-05-11
As the Internet’s slowly learning this week, apparently if you’re a dude, or even just know a dude, who works/worked in the hospitality industry, at one point you or your friend have been asked to stick your penis in John Travolta‘s b...
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So This Is Where Anna Faris' Baby Will Pop Out…
2012-05-11
Anna Faris just announced she’s pregnant this week, so I don’t exactly know how I feel about posting pics of her having a wardrobe malfunction at last night’s premiere of The Dictator. Except I do and it’s knock out my rent, you...
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Jennifer Lopez Puts Her Boyfriend on the First Place
2012-05-11
According to sources, pop diva Jennifer Lopez has started worrying her friends because she is now allowing her toy-boy boyfriend make decisions for her....
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Rihanna Wore This And Other News
2012-05-11
- Jessica Biel wants to pretend she didn’t start out on 7th Heaven. - It’s Friday, you could use some photobombs. With breasts. Photobombs with breasts. - And here’s Shauna Sand literally getting banged on the beach in front of the pa...
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Hey, Milla Jovovich's Butt? What's Crackin'?
2012-05-10
I’m 11. Quick Note: These pics are quasi-SFW, but just in case, tell your boss Milla Jovovich is wearing underwear, it’s just up her butthole, so technically this doesn’t count as nudity. In fact, bring them over right now, I’ll...
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I Don't Remember Elizabeth Taylor Being So Orange
2012-05-10
So despite all the reasons mentioned in this Woody Allen post and the fact that she’s Lindsay Lohan in general, A&E decided to showcase her anyway at last night’s upfronts to promote her role as Elizabeth Taylor in the upcoming Lifetim...
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The Crap We Missed – Thursday 5.10.12
2012-05-10
Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed where Chelsea Handler has become indistinguishable from Helen Hunt, someone probably died after reaching toward Seal‘s camera, Eve‘s alive (Who knew?), and Wilmer Valderrama put on his deepest ...
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Bristol Palin Criticizes Obama On Gay Marriage, Says Kids Need Mom And A Dad. Let That Sink In.
2012-05-10
Yesterday, President Obama fully endorsed same-sex marriage rights which, whether it was a contrived political calculation or not, still marks an historical moment when an American president has come out in support of an extremely controversial topic t...
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Chris Brown Thanks Rihanna For Working With Him By Calling Her A Bitch On His New Track
2012-05-10
Back in February, Rihanna shocked the music world by letting her label talk into her recording two tracks with Chris Brown despite the fact he violently beat the shit out of her three years ago for simply looking at his phone and hasn’t shown a s...
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George Lucas is Straight Gangster
2012-05-10
“Zup?” Over the past decade, George Lucas has been trying to build a 263,701 square-foot “movie-making complex” complete with daycare and over $300 million in jobs to Marin County except his rich neighbors formed their own rebel al...
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I'll Fight Anyone Who Doesn't Think Michelle Pfeiffer Looks Incredible For Her Age And Other News
2012-05-10
- The cast of Desperate Housewives is apparently cheap as fuck. - Redheads are torches now. Or something. Boobs, this link has boobs. - Cameron Diaz might be getting Fassbent as we speak. - The E-Trade Baby is now the E-Trade kindergartener. - Nina Dob...
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