Ice-T's wife definitely has breasts

A lot of celebrity news is going to transpire today, but nothing is more important than this story, right here: Ice-T's wife has breasts the size of a Guatemalan village. I don't even know what kind of cyborg back-implants she has to carry those things, but bless her heart. Women everywhere can learn something here today. You should be able to comfortably seat a party of ten on your chest, otherwise you better be awesome in the kitchen. Real awesome. Like you make the best roast beef on the planet – and then your chest quadruples in size. I think I saw Martha Stewart do that once.